Aaron Lawrence is a 24 year old escort and porn star from New Jersey. He's also got a college degree in Psychology and is the author of The Male Escort's Handbook just published in the USA and Suburban Hustler available here in the UK. Every fortnight in OutUK he answers your questions on being gay, sex and relationships. And any other stuff you might want to ask. He says "My advice is based on my experiences in the sex industry, academia, and life. In no way am I a medical doctor, licensed psychologist, trained sex therapist, or God. Please read my advice with those limitations in mind".

Aaron 'sez: Sitting on someone's dick works for some people, but is uncomfortable for others. Particularly heavy men may in particular find it a difficult position. Still, there is no single right way to be fucked by a big dick, so everyone needs to discover what works for them.

Aaron 'sez: According to Webster's Dictionary, it says... oh, hell, you're right. Douching refers to washing out a body cavity (although I can't imagine they mean the mouth, nose, or ears). You still won't catch me saying I need to douche myself. That seems to me... well, just plain icky! Enemas, yes. Douches, hell no! : ).

Aaron 'sez: Good news: You're normal! Lots of guys lose their erection when they are getting fucked. The reasons vary, but have a lot to do with the type of stimulation that you are receiving. When something pushes up against your prostate, for example, lots of guys naturally lose their hardon. This isn't bad or abnormal - it's the way some guy's bodies simply work. If you manage to keep your erection, then more power to you.  It means you're super turned-on and the physical feelings are really enjoyable.

As for orgasming, it's not unusual at all for someone to have an orgasm while being topped. It is rare that someone cums without touching himself at the same time though. Remember that topping can be done for the pleasure of the top, the bottom, or both. If you want to have an erection and cum while being fucked, as the top to fuck you for your pleasure. A great way to do this is to lie on your back and put a pillow or two under your ass. Play with yourself until you have a strong erection going. Close your eyes, fantasize about something hot, and keep playing with yourself as the top slowly lubes up your ass and fingers you.  Eventually he can slide his into you. While he should feel free to fuck you, in this case the top should just slide his dick in and out enough to accentuate the feelings you have from jacking yourself off. Keep playing with yourself this way, and when it is time to cum go right ahead and do so. You'll find that it is a lot easier to stay hard this way than when the top gives you a hot fuck for his pleasure. That can be fun too, but both are different experiences.

Aaron 'sez: Alas, no. The fellow on the cover is Jeffrey Kracht, a wanna-be model, an interior designer, and a friend of mine. In case you're wondering he is gay, but isn't an escort, and has no desire to take his pants off on film. You can find me pictured the cover of my first book, Suburban Hustler.

Aaron 'sez: Pardon me, but why do you want a higher dosage if you're already having a good experience with the drug? Increasing your dosage is not likely to give you a better of time. As a matter of fact, it can be potentially dangerous. Erections that last too long without going down can cause permanent damage to your dick.

Even if I suggested taking more, you need to remember that I'm not a doctor, nor do I know anything about your medical history. I do know that Viagra is commonly taken in one of three dosages, 25mg, 50mg, or 100mg. To the best of my knowledge in the states the FDA has not approved dosages of Viagra higher than 100mg per 24 hours. But to tell you any more than that I'd need to talk to the doctor who prescribed them to you. Cut me out as the middleman and give him (or her) a call. It doesn't sound to me like you need to take a higher dosage, but if you want to do so you need his okay.

Aaron 'sez: Why not try using a water-based lube when you have sex and jack off? Using lots of lube though will allow you to slide your dick easily in someone's hand, butt, or pussy. I personally suggest Wet for jacking off, and ForePlay for anal sex. I suspect either would work just fine for straight sex, too. Drop by your local sex shop and pick up a bottle of lube. Or if you're shy, visit any condom shop and pick up a bottle. I'd advise against KY though. It may work in a pinch, but it doesn't lubricate as well as other water-based lubricants.

Aaron 'sez: Have you ever asked him to suck you off? And if he said no, have you ever asked him why not? If he isn't willing to go down on you, there is certainly a reason why.  Maybe he's scared of giving oral sex. Maybe he doesn't like the idea of STDs. He may simply not like going down on guys. Or perhaps you don't shower often enough and have a major personal hygiene problem. I have no way of knowing for sure, so next time you guys are cuddling in bed, ask him.

As for the sore throat, while it is true that sore throats can be a sign of oral gonorrhea, they can also easily be caused by irritating the back of your throat as you aggressively suck on someone. As long as your sore throat cleared up in a few days and didn't repeatedly reoccur, then I wouldn't worry about it. Just go easy on your tonsils next time you're in the mood for cum-guzzling.

Aaron 'sez: The Flex Baths chain of bathhouses in the U.S.has a great set of bathhouse rules and an article titled Bathhouse 101. Reading them both will certainly give you an idea how to behave in a bathhouse. Generally speaking though, the scene is simple. If the bathhouse allows you to check your valuables with the clerks, do so. Once you find your locker or room, change out of your clothes and into a towel. Wander around the bathhouse and learn the layout of the place. If someone approaches you that does not interest you, be polite about turning him down. If you approach someone who turns you down, respect his desires and continue exploring. If you find someone and you both want to play, then by all means do so. But be aware of the bathhouse's policies on public sex. Some encourage it, while others will throw you out for doing so. When you're done, thank the person you have tricked with, but don't expect it to turn into a relationship. Then continue on with your conquests or get dressed and head out until the mood to play in public strikes you again.

Aaron 'sez: How would I?  Or how should you? The two are probably very different. I respect the limits of my friends. God knows I get enough sex in my life. If someone isn't interested, I don't have the time, energy, or interest in seducing him into it.

Then again you might. So if you want to get a friend to jack off, the best thing to do is to get him tipsy and get him horny. The tipsy part is easy - if he's 18 years old (or whatever the drinking age is in your country), serve him a couple of drinks. Not too much, but enough so that his inhibitions are a bit off-kilter.

Once he's "glazed" (as opposed to "pissed"), pop a porn movie on the tv. If he's straight, make sure it's a hot straight movie with good looking guys in it. Every gay guy should have at least one straight movie for just this sort of occasion. If he's gay, then pop in a gay movie with whatever type of guy he is attracted to. Once he's fixated on the video, sit down in a chair several feet away from him and start talking about how horny the video gets you. Keep talking about how you could use a bit of relief. If he agrees that he's horny, whip it out and start jacking off. He may flip out at this point, or he may pull his out and start jacking, too.

If you want things to progress a bit further, grab a bottle of lube out of a nearby drawer. Lube yourself up.  When he asks you what the stuff is, sit down next to him and hand him the bottle. Let him stroke himself off with the lube for a while, but make sure you put the bottle back down out of his reach.  Eventually the lube will dry up and he'll want a bit more. If you're really adventurous, pour a bit on your own hand and then slide it down over his dick. The feeling may be so intense that he lets you keep stroking it. He'll probably feel awkward, but he very well may let you jack him off all the way. And who knows? He may just give you a hand, too.

Have I ruined my ability to be intimate with another person due to the last five years of masturbating to videos?  I've decided to stop masturbating to videos, and I'm anxious and excited about the prospects of a relationship with a man.   Is there anything to worry about?  Any suggestions?  Should I try and get a Viagra prescription?

Aaron 'sez: Whoa! Stop and take a deep breath. Just because you like beating off to porn, and just because you're not getting hard around an erotic masseur doesn't mean your sex life is over. You're obviously capable of getting hard and cumming on your own, so it's simply a matter of finding the right method with someone else. So for starters, accept that it may not be possible for you to perform with those sexy masseurs. After a long and relaxing massage your body may be more ready to take a nap than to beat off. If that is the case, why not start looking for someone to play with in your home. Start with what you like best - look for someone to come over and jack off to porn movies with you. Or just to jack yourselves off while you watch each other. If you're really feeling adventurous, go over to Amsterdam or one of the many major cities in Europe that have jackoff clubs. There are plenty of them out there.

Of course you may be perfectly capable of jacking off around the masseurs, but just haven't found the right method yet.  For example, instead of having the masseur jack you off, why not spend the last fifteen minutes of the session playing with yourself.  Instruct the masseur where you'd like him to touch you. Throw an x-rated movie on the tv and focus on that while he assists your jacking off. Over a few sessions you may be able to gradually remove the tv from the equation and "get into it." Who knows? The "masseur problem" may be as simple as your body not needing to get hard.  If you're beating off three times a day, you're obviously keeping your hormones well under control.  Try not jacking off for the three days before you see your next masseur.

All in all? You're normal.  No need to run out and get Viagra.  Just stop worrying about it and do what comes naturally.  For some guys the touch of a masseur gets them instantly hard and excited.  For others it is such a deep and relaxing experience that there is no sexual component.  Figure out what type you are and then develop your sex life from there.

Oh, and stopping jacking off to videos? Only a good idea if you're avoiding going out and meeting people because you have fun playing with yourself. Try it as an experiment - stop for a month sometime. If being that horny gets you out meeting people then you may want to find a nice compromise between getting out of your house and playing with yourself.  No need to give up porn completely, but you're not going to meet Mr. Right (or Mr. Right-Now) in front of your tv.

Aaron 'sez: There is no universal way to pick up truckers. Some truckers are straight, some are gay, and some don't care who you are when they're horny. Just as important, some trucks are only taking a day's trip while others are driving coast-to-coast. It's these last ones that you want to focus on as you find yourself cruising for sex. If truckers are what you want, start by buying a CB radio for your car. Tune it into channel 19 and keep your ears open. I don't know how much it'll help in Maine, but I remember driving past one of America's largest truck stops with mine on. You should have heard the truckers talking! Horny guys, lots of 'em. And one little voice offering to give "trucker bj's". Considering the number (200+) of trucks I saw pulled over at the stop, I can only imagine he eventually had a few takers. Next off, learn what rest areas near you are cruisy. You can do this by looking on cruisingforsex. They have literally hundreds of cruisy rest areas around the world reviewed on their site. Be sure to check their site carefully to make sure there has been no recent policy activity at the ones near you. Police stings in rest areas are very real, and can result in arrest, unwanted attention, and more.

Once you find a good rest area, stop into it as the evening goes on and trucks begin pulling aside. Then to pick one up you need to do everything that you'd expect someone to do in such a situation. Loiter around the premises, check out the truckers, and whenever one walks into a stall walk into the one next to them.  Just be careful when you do this, as you'd hate to hit on the wrong trucker and get beaten up.  That sorta thing is rare (truckers are used to it), but does happen!

Finally, don't bother trying to pick up a trucker as you drive. To signal your interest you'd have to do something totally crazy like pull out your dick and start stroking. Even then you'll wind up with the trucker calling the local cops as often as you wind up with any action. This ain't like Thelma and Louise, and truckers don't just go hog-wild when they see an attractive person. But with constant effort and care you can find yourself blowing one from time to time. Who knows? You may eventually bag a trucker right in the middle of his cab.

Aaron 'sez: A virgin until you find Mr. Right? That's sweet! I hope it works out for you, and when you finally meet a man whom you want to give your virginity to, that he respects and cherishes your gift for what it is.

In the meantime, relax.  You can't lose your dick inside someone. Good dildos are always ones that are shaped like a real dick, in that they have large balls or base to prevent the dildo from accidently falling into a guy's butt (or woman's pussy). Some sex dildos, fruits, makeshift dildos, and the like without a large base can get lost in there.  Usually they come back on their own, but we've all heard of horror stories of having to visit the emergency room to get one out. Never fear though, unless you use quick-drying cement as lube, you'll never get another guy's dick stuck inside you.

Aaron 'sez: Alas, escorting for nonsexual purposes is all but a myth. It's a nice idea, but if it was a real profession can you imagine the clamor of people rushing to get involved in it? Being paid hundreds of dollars for intelligent conversation and companionship would be one of the world's dream jobs. If you want to learn what escorting is really like, pick up my book The Male Escorts Handbook.

Aaron sez: Measure your dick this way. Get yourself super hard, grab a ruler, and measure on top of your dick from the base of your body all the way out to the tip of your dick.  It's okay to push the ruler into your body slightly, but not fair gaining an extra inch that way.

As for your second question, no. There is no real way to enlarge your dick. You'll hear lots of people talk about pumps, pills, and surgeries that supposedly make your dick bigger. With the exception of the surgery nothing works, and even that has many complications and side effects that make it rarely worth the effort. As a guy that knows about sex, trust me when I say the size of your dick doesn't matter. It does if you want to do high-level professional porn, but otherwise it's not a big deal.

Aaron 'sez: There are two possibilities. The first is that you are experiencing precum, a fluid that comes out of your dick when you get hard and excited. Precum neutralizes the acidity of traces of urine in the urethra, thereby promoting fertility when you finally cum. If that's the case, don't worry about it.  Precum is totally natural and we all have it to a greater or lesser extent. The second is that you have a urinary tract infection of some sort. That can also cause transparent fluid to come out of your dick.  Chances are that you'd have a burning sensation when you pee with a UTI though, so unless you're experiencing that I wouldn't worry about it. Just enjoy your precum and know that it gets a lot of people hot. Many people such as myself freely admit they are precum junkies and love the stuff.  

Aaron 'sez:I'm not sure what causes that problem but a physician could certainly take a look at you and give you a better answer. I'd say a better question is to ask yourself does it often hurt in other circumstances.  If your balls twinge and feel pain in other situations then you should head in and have a urologist check you out. There may be some sort of problem that needs addressing. As long as you have a clean bill of health though, don't worry about it. Having your balls sucked isn't all that important in bed, and you can easily enjoy yourself in other ways.

Oh, and keep in mind that some people love having their balls licked but not sucked. I was that way for many years. Now I enjoy it if someone sucks my balls very gently, of if they do both at the same time. But if someone sucks one of my balls but not the other I practically start to scream. Other than that my balls are just fine. Perhaps you're the same way.

Aaron sez: I receive many submissions of questions I have already answered. Aaron's Advice is published every couple of weeks in OutUK and you can see my past OutUK columns in the OutBack archive.

Bedtime Reading

Aaron's bestseller which graphically reveals his businesslike approach to the world's oldest profession. Available at Amazon.

Aaron sez :
For more information about gay health, check out Dr. Goldstone's book, The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex.

Suburban Hustler - Memoirs Of A HiTech Callboy is Aaron's first bestseller which has sold more than 200,000 copies at AmazonUK alone. Available here.