30th January 2001 - Using a Pump, Dildos and How not to gag. Aaron Lawrence is a 24 year old escort and porn star from New Jersey. He's also got a college degree in Psychology and is the author of The Male Escort's Handbook just published in the USA and Suburban Hustler available here in the UK. Every fortnight in OutUK he answers your questions on being gay, sex and relationships. And any other stuff you might want to ask. He says "My advice is based on my experiences in the sex industry, academia, and life. In no way am I a medical doctor, licensed psychologist, trained sex therapist, or God. Please read my advice with those limitations in mind". |
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From the Mailbag: Recently you had
a letter from a guy whose boyfriend liked his armpits licked. Not to split hairs, but
there is a distinction between a deodorant and an antiperspirant. Deodorants (as the name
implies de-odor) are essentially armpit perfume. They'll keep you from stinking
on a hot day, but they won't cut down on the amount of sweat your body produces. An
antiperspirant (again as the name implies anti-perspire) is designed not only to
smell nice, but also to prevent sweating. So technically, your advice to him to get his
boyfriend to switch *deodorants* won't do the trick. He should either: a) switch antiperspirants because his current on is no longer working (you can develop a tolerance to a given brand; I know, as my boyfriend has a tendency to "pit out"), or b) switch from using deodorant to using antiperspirant. And you are absolutely correct about one other thing. Antiperspirants are desiccators and will turn your tongue into dry fuzz. Aaron 'sez: Well put. I was simplistic in my response, and you corrected me on it. Ann Landers gives herself ten lashes when with a wet noodle when she does this. I wonder if I should receive ten lashes from a hot master with his leather belt. : ) |
| From the Mailbag: I take usually two showers a
day, but a couple of years ago, I noticed in the summer that my deodorant didn't always
work. I read somewhere that the cause of armpit odour was bacterial in nature and to use
antibacterial soap. I switched to the orange antibacterial soap and the body odor just
disappeared. Now, even if I don't use deodorant somedays, there is little if any odor.
This really did stop the problem. Aaron 'sez: Yet more good advice. I'm really glad your letters are helping to clear the air. : ) |
| Question: I have always wanted a big dick
hanging between my legs. I recently bought a pump which I have been using for about three
months now, but have not noticed any results from it. Do these pump work, or did I just
waste my money? Signed, In Too Deep Aaron 'sez: Bad news, friend. Those pumps are one of the many ways unscrupulous people make money off people's insecurities. They may swell your dick momentarily because of the lower air pressure in the pump, but as you have learned they do not make any noticeable change over the long-term. Chalk it up as a lesson learned during your late-night jacking sessions. |
| Question: I have crabs and can not get rid of them. I noticed the infestation
about four months ago and immediately bought the lice killing shampoo, etc. I used it as
directed, did a second use in 7-10 days, combed out the hair, and washed my
sheets/towels/clothes in hot water. But they're still they are coming back. I haven't had
ANY relations with anyone since I noticed them so I must be reinfecting myself. What gives
and what do I do? ANY suggestions would be helpful. Signed, Crabby Man Aaron 'sez: Some people manage to contract crabs that they just can't get rid of. For whatever reason, the usual over-the-counter medications just don't work. Don't panic and start using Harpic on your crotch though, there is a solution. There are a number of lice-killing medications that only a doctor can prescribe. Go visit your local doc and tell him your troubles. He'll prescribe one and give you some advice on getting rid of them. You'll also want to make sure you pick up some lice-killing detergents too. You're dealing with a stubborn bug, and you're going to want to go on a massive household lice-killing frenzy in order to purge them from your home. Wash all of your clothing, towels, and linens in one day-long laundry job while vacuuming the floors and turning over your mattress. With any luck you'll solve the problem on your next try. |
| Question: I am 28 years old, and have had a relationship for two years with an 18-year
old. He was a virgin when we started so I am concerned about making sure I teach him
correctly. I have taught him to suck cock, and when I come in his mouth I want him to
"deep throat" me. I have tried to teach him to try and override his gag reflex,
but with no success so far. I want to by pass his mouth altogether, and come in his
throat. Is this possible? I am pretty well hung (7 1/2 inches) which may be the problem. Signed, "Deep as possible" Donald Aaron 'sez: Your quest may or may not be futile. For all of your teaching capabilities you need to understand he may not be able to deep throat you. Some men's throats just aren't wide enough to handle thicker dicks, and some people have really aggressive gag reflexes. For what it's worth though, here are a few suggestions for deep throating. Adjust your position based on how your dick points. If it points up have him suck you off in a 69-type position. If it points down try standing while he kneels in front of you. A workable position is half of the solution. Remember the angle should be sliding the dick down his throat, not into the back of his neck. Avoid oral sex after you eat. A full stomach will make his gag reflex worse. Have sex in the morning. The gag reflex is less active then. Breathe through your nose. People can suck more when you're not using your mouth for breathing. Let the guy giving the blowjob control the action. He understands his limits and can prevent himself from choking. He also knows when he needs to come up for air. He won't be able to deep throat and breathe at the same time.- Try a sore throat lozenge before giving oral sex. They have a mild topical anesthesia in them that will deaden your oral pleasure, but allow him to suck deeper before he gags. If these don't solve your dilemma, don't worry about it. Cumming in someone's throat is hardly the goal of sex. Just let him slide your dick as far back in his mouth as he can before you cum. You'll still get lots of pleasure that way. |
| Question: My friend thinks I should have my dick
circumcised. Another friend disagrees, saying when he was twenty he had his removed and
that anal sex no longer gives such a strong sensation. Should I have it chopped or not? Signed, Troubled Teen Aaron 'sez: Is there any particular reason you are considering having the procedure done? You don't seem to mind your dick the way it is, and if there is no medical reason for having your foreskin removed then it's purely an aesthetic decision. As long as you are comfortable with your dick the way it is then I wouldn't change a thing. It's your dick we're talking about, after all, and not that of either of your friends. |
| Question: I am thinking about escorting. What advice do you
have a for a first time escort? I don't want my photos posted on the Internet so I would
have to advertise discreetly. Signed, Escort to be in Philadelphia? Aaron 'sez: If you've been reading this column for a while you may know that I wrote a book on the subject. It's called The Male Escort's Handbook: Your Guide to Getting Rich the Hard Way. Go pick it up read through it. It has far more information and advice that I can possibly write here. To answer your question though, you're going to have a tough time advertising on the Internet without a picture. It can be done, but many clients prefer to see what they're hiring before they lay out the cash. Clients who hire escorts from print ads are more flexible on this point though, so you may want to consider taking out an ad in the Philadelphia Gay News. Advertising can be done online on sites like rentboy.com and escorts4you.com, as well as escorting in the chatrooms, but your success rates will be lower than those of escorts with pictures to send out. Even a body shot without your face is better than nothing. However you advertise, remember that customer service is key. Your job is to meet your clients' needs, ideally before they realize what those needs are. Always balance customer service with maintaining your dignity and self-respect though. Too many escorts imbalance their business one way or the other, a practice that inevitably leads to their unfortunate exit from the profession. Good luck! |
| Question: I have a question about lube, it
seems whenever I use a water-based lube my dick gets soft.. When I use lotion or vasaline
I go crazy. It is quite embarrassing twice while with someone they used wet and another
lube I can't remember the name of I went limp.. Is this possible.. It doesn't even feel as
though someone is touching my dick when I use lube, like an almost instant numbness. I
don't think it is a sexual thing cause if lube is not used or other lubes are used my dick
works fine. Also with a condom on for anal sex this doesn't happen.. Is there a
water-based lube that doesn't have this effect?...They are much easier to clean up after. Signed, Floriboy Aaron 'sez: Many water-based lubricants contain a mild anesthetic. It's great for bottoms who want to get fucked a little longer, and helpful for tops that cum too fast. Unfortunately these lubes are not good for guys that take a long to cum, or even for those who already have a good sex life. Since you fit into this category, try experimenting with different lubes to see which ones don't have that effect. Putting a little bit on your tongue and lips will help you determine their anesthetic quality easily. Your other option is to stick with the oil-based lubes. Sure, they're a bitch to clean-off, but as long as you're using polyurethane condoms then you're safe from a medical perspective. |
| Question: I'm a 21 year-old gay man and just started to
explore my body. Recently I purchased a couple of toys, one of which is a 9" dildo. I
worked myself over with it pretty well. After I came I pulled it out and started playing
with my ass again. As I was playing with it, the hole itself "exploded". I don't
know how to put it except it felt like part of the inside of my ass puffed up and came
outside. It felt like a small doorknob when I touched it. I hope I explained it clear
enough. Is this something natural or something I should concern myself with? Signed, Worried about Puffy Ass Aaron 'sez: I checked with Dr. Goldstone, my medical consultant for this column. He seemed to believe it was probably a swollen haemorrhoid from all the work you had done. If it continues to happen you should see a doctor, but otherwise you are fine. Next time go a little easier and use more lube when you fuck yourself. |
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Question: When I give oral sex for a long time, such as 15 or 20 minutes, my nose
starts running. I have to stop and blow it often. Why does it do that and what can I do
about it? Aaron 'sez: Because you have a snotty personality? Just kidding! Believe it or not, the tissues in your nose are similar to the tissues in your dick. They swell when you become sexually excited, which can cause your nose to run. It's normal and nothing to worry about. If your nose is bothering you then explain your situation to your partner and keep a box of tissues near your bed. When your nose starts to bother you, just joke that your lover has that effect on you. If it's really bad you could look into cold medicine that help a runny nose, but those usually cause drowsiness so you may find yourself falling asleep during foreplay. |
| Question: I have a little half-white ring at the bottom of the head. It has been there for
a few years now. I wash it all the time and now you can't really see it , but i know it is
there. If i stretch the skin it looks like a vein, but you really have to look for it.
What is this, and should I be worried? Aaron 'sez: It sounds like a minor scar or other skin coloration. Are you circumcised? That is the likely reason you have it. Most circumcised men have a ring of some sort in that area. In any case it sounds like nothing to worry about. If it ever begins to hurt or gets worse you should see a physician, but otherwise you're fine.
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Aaron sez: I receive many submissions of questions I have already answered. Aaron's Advice is published every couple of weeks in OutUK and you can see my past OutUK columns in the OutBack archive.
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Bedtime Reading | |
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Aaron's bestseller which graphically reveals his businesslike approach to the world's oldest profession. Available at Amazon. |
| Aaron sez : |
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Suburban Hustler - Memoirs Of A HiTech Callboy is Aaron's first bestseller which has sold more than 200,000 copies at AmazonUK alone. Available here. |