Aaron Lawrence is a 24 year old escort and porn star from New Jersey. He's also got a college degree in Psychology and is the author of The Male Escort's Handbook just published in the USA and Suburban Hustler available here in the UK. Every fortnight in OutUK he answers your questions on being gay, sex and relationships. And any other stuff you might want to ask. He says "My advice is based on my experiences in the sex industry, academia, and life. In no way am I a medical doctor, licensed psychologist, trained sex therapist, or God. Please read my advice with those limitations in mind".

The best part is that I've met someone! Someone who I know would have loved me even when I was heavy had I known them then. He's an ER nurse at the local hospital and when he was talking to me I couldn't help but blurt out just how cute he was. Have we slept together yet? Yes, but only after we got to know each other better and he knew my past etc. All I can say is it was wonderful, something I thought only existed on the pages of a book. My love for this guy along with everything else just seems to get better and better. We're now talking about having him move in with me. It's a big step, but thanks to words of wisdom of yours and others, I'm ready to take the next step.
Signed, J.

Aaron 'sez: Your letter made half my day. Here's the letter that made the rest.

Aaron 'sez: Letters like those two make all the effort I put into my column worthwhile. Now onto today's troubles...

Aaron 'sez: You say you start having this problem a few days ago? Doesn't exactly sound like a long-term condition. It sounds more to me like you had good sex but you just couldn't quite cum. It happens to us all sooner or later. Me? I had my first experience like that when I was 15. Sexual experience and learning how to pleasure your own body helps prevent it from happening some of the time, but invariably it happens from time to time. No one cums every single time they have sex, so if you're only cumming most of the time then you're normal like the rest of us. If you keep having sex for another six months and can't cum, write back and let me know. That's so rare though that I can't imagine that it'll happen to you.

Aaron 'sez: In the USA most escorts charge in the $150-$200 range, in the UK £100-£150. Some are a little more, some are a little less. Pricing doesn't sound like the biggest concern of yours. I'm wondering just why you're escorting at all. Escorting for men isn't exactly the least stressful job a straight guy can have. Are you actually bi and are simply comfortable having sex with a guy? If you really are straight then you may want to reconsider your decision to escort. Straight guys in the business invariably burn out fast and hard. You may be better off looking for another career path towards your goals.

Aaron 'sez: Telling a guy that you love him is never ridiculous. Unless you have a lousy singing voice and decide to serenade him in front of all his straight neighbours. Or worse yet, in front of the parents he has never come out to! Seriously though, if you're in love with a guy, why not sit him down and tell him. Unless he's rigidly straight or is otherwise unlikely to respond well to your suggestions, a heart-to-heart conversation may be the best way to work through your feelings. There's no secret to dealing with these things. Just sit him down in a neutral place (ie; not your bedroom!) and tell him how you feel. There is no guarantee he'll feel the same way, but at least you'll have it off your chest.

By the way, being afraid doesn't make you a coward. All men are afraid at some point in their lives of real-world dangers and those that are more social in nature. A coward is one who gives into his fear instead of living his life or protecting that which he believes in. There is no dishonour in deciding not to tell him how you feel so long as you believe you will not regret that decision in the future.

Aaron 'sez: Barbers and hairstylists are great when it comes to dealing with the hair on our head, but no one ever teaches us how to handle the hair on our bodies. Whether you have a little hair or a lot, careful grooming can make it look a LOT more appealing to others. And more practical in your own life. So here's my advice for you.

First, go to your local department store and invest in a good pair of haircutting clippers. The type of clippers that you use on your head. Make sure it comes with a number of attachments ranging from 1/4" to 1". Some will have the attachments built into them.

Second, next time you're alone in your bathroom, throw some newspapers down on the floor. (Hair is going to get everywhere, and it'll make it a lot easier to clean up). Plug in your clippers and put on the 1/2" attachment. Now use the clippers on all of the hair below your neck. All of it! That includes your arms and armpits, chest, butt, crotch, legs, and anything else you can think of. You'll notice a huge improvement in the way your body hair looks based on that.

Third, using the 1/4" attachment trim your hair anywhere you want it to be a bit shorter. For example, on the sides of your chest hair, or on the area around your navel.

Fourth, take off all the attachments (or use the smallest one) and slip down the hair on the sides of your dick. You might want to clip around your asshole with this attachment, too. Be careful not to cut or pinch yourself. Clippers with no attachments are especially good at hurting the skin on your balls.

Fifth, if you want to make your balls smooth, use a safety razor and some shaving cream to shave them. Don't shave the area around your asshole with a safety razor, otherwise it will break-out with red bumps after a day or so.

Finally, wait a few days and see what happens. If you experience itching in some areas, then you won't want to cut the hair so short there next time. Once all the itching is gone, repeat these steps with any necessary adjustments. You'll always miss some hairs whenever you trim yourself. Doing this several times helps make a very uniform appearance and will look great. Once your hair is set, do this about every three weeks or as needed.

One more hint - shaving gel can be a lot of fun to jack off with. So feel free to reward yourself after completing step five.

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Aaron 'sez: An escort stays healthy the same way anyone else does: by taking precautions. Precisely which ones and how many you'll want to do will vary, but here are a few you might want to try...

Get vaccinated for Hepatitis-A and B. There is no good reason why you shouldn't have this done. It's cheap and it can prevent you from becoming seriously ill and passing on the disease to people around you. Tell your doctor you want to be vaccinated for both. Men who have sex with men are a high risk group for both diseases. If your doctor asks why you want the shots, just tell him you fall into that group and you want it done.

Use condoms. This one is obvious enough. Use condoms for any type of anal sex. If you're really cautious then you'll want to use condoms for oral sex as well. For anal sex use latex condoms with the reservoir tip. For oral sex use unlubricated latex condoms without the tip (so you don't gag!).

Avoid lubricants (on condoms or in bottles/tubes) that have nonoxynol-9 in them. It was once thought to be helpful at preventing the spread of HIV, but is now thought to actually increase your chance of getting AIDS by irritating the inside of your rectum during anal sex.

If you contract crab lice or any other STD, have your doctor test you for other STDs. Did you know that 1/3 of people with crab lice have another STD? They often don't know it either, because the STD is in some sort of dormant or non-symptomatic state. Have your doc give you a few tests just to make sure.

Before having sex, check your partner for any visual signs of STDs. This includes odd stains in the crotch of his underwear, a smelly discharge coming out of the tip of his dick, or any unusual sores, bumps, or pimples near his cock or balls,

Have yourself tested for HIV every six months. This should be every three months if you regularly engage in condomless anal sex with multiple partners. Your doctor can do this, you can buy anonymous testing kits, or you can do this confidentially or anonymously through your local health department.

Wash yourself with soap and water after sex. Taking a piss also helps remove unfriendly bacteria from your urethra.

Limit your number of partners. Whether this be by developing a monogamous romantic relationship, an ongoing "fuck buddy" friendship, or building repeat clients, the less guys you fuck around with means the less risk you are facing. Of course your partners may be tramping around too, so don't think that monogamy is the perfect solution to STDs.

There are lots more, but these are a few of the major ones. For more info I suggest Doctor Goldstone's book, The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex. See below.

Aaron 'sez: Good news! There are no STDs that are only (or even mostly) found in uncut guys. That being said, you do need to be careful. For a variety of reasons including a lack of culturally-based sex education materials (Egads, I sound like Dr. Elders!), Latinos are about three times more likely to have gonorrhea than white guys. Other STDs are similarly higher in Latinos and other people of colour. So by no means should you be giving up the delights of uncut Latin cock, you should be aware that the risks are out there and are much higher than you believe. If you don't want to take the risks and responsibilities that come with sucking guys off, then you may want to start carrying unlubricated condoms with you.

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Aaron 'sez: Actually, yes. Long-term use of enemas is can cause constipation and eventually make your body dependent on enemas. That's definitely something you want to avoid. If you are going to give yourself enemas regularly, you should severely limit the amount of water to just a few brief squirts inside you. You are trying to clean only the rectum, not inside your colon at all. A better bet than the enemas is probably a high-fibre diet combined with a lot of soap and water when you shower. The fibre-rich diet will go a long way to making your poop more regular and solid, while soaping yourself up and using a finger to rub the inside your rectum will clean you out in a much safer manner.

Aaron 'sez: There's a reason we have safe sex - in case we find ourselves having sex with someone with HIV. Well, you know that you may be having sex with one. So take precautions, use condoms for what you do, and don't exchange your body fluids. Oh, and give him a tip for his honesty. There are a lot of HIV+ escorts in the business who don't disclose their status in advance.

Aaron 'sez: Booze & bimbos! That's the key. If you want to seduce a straight guy, give him a few drinks then throw on a porn movie on the tv. One with a lot of hot young guys in addition to the women. Perhaps a gangbang video? Once they're going at it just whip your dick out and start stroking. If he does the same, it's just a matter of offering to service him. There's no guarantee that he'll accept, and no guarantee that your friendship won't end the next day. But friendship wasn't really what you wanted anyway, eh?

Aaron sez: I receive many submissions of questions I have already answered. Aaron's Advice is published every couple of weeks in OutUK and you can see my past OutUK columns in the OutBack archive.

Bedtime Reading

Aaron's bestseller which graphically reveals his businesslike approach to the world's oldest profession. Available at Amazon.

Aaron sez :
For more information about gay health, check out Dr. Goldstone's book, The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex.

Suburban Hustler - Memoirs Of A HiTech Callboy is Aaron's first bestseller which has sold more than 200,000 copies at AmazonUK alone. Available here.