Aaron Lawrence is a 24 year old escort and porn star from New Jersey. He's also got a college degree in Psychology and is the author of The Male Escort's Handbook just published in the USA and Suburban Hustler available here in the UK. Every fortnight in OutUK he answers your questions on being gay, sex and relationships. And any other stuff you might want to ask. He says "My advice is based on my experiences in the sex industry, academia, and life. In no way am I a medical doctor, licensed psychologist, trained sex therapist, or God. Please read my advice with those limitations in mind".

Aaron 'sez: Hey, folks! Here's the latest Aaron's Advice. I hope you enjoy it and find some useful answers. : )

Aaron 'sez: The issue about prostate surgery really touched off a nerve in a number of you. Read on!

Also from the Mailbag on the same subject: Just a follow-up for "The Big P," who's looking at a possible prostectomy and is worried about the complications. In just the past week or so, I saw a newspaper article that told of a new procedure during this surgery. A nerve segment from an ankle is grafted onto the cut prostate-area nerves. As I recall, many of the unpleasant side effects of the surgery were avoided. Don't know if he can use it, but I wanted to pass the info along. Signed, My Time's Coming

Aaron 'sez: There you have it, Big P. Three letters from concerned readers. Why not print them out and show them to your doctors? And getting in touch with Dr. Blasko might not be a bad idea, either. Good luck! Let us know how it all turns out.

Aaron 'sez: Now THAT is a treatment I am sure is not medically approved. I haven't the faintest idea if it works or not, but I certainly wouldn't want to rely on it. Your technique may kill the crabs themselves (although I even find that hard to believe), but I sincerely doubt it will do much to kill the eggs. For $10 you can drop by your pharmacy and buy something that definitely works.

Aaron 'sez: The same amount of time a client can be late without being rude. I'd say 10 to 15 minutes unless the person calls first.

Aaron 'sez: Ahhh, what is hot and what is not in a porn movie. That is one of the arbitrary matters that no amount of debate can resolve. Is it a mistake to rip those clothes off and go right to the fucking? Depends on who you ask. Personally that's the way I like my porn. Yet to you it makes for a totally unerotic viewing experience. Perhaps a compromise is in order? Some movies can do it your way, some can do it mine. And with over a thousand gay porn movies being released each year, there's plenty of vids to go around.

As to you specifically, your enjoyment of seeing erections through underwear is not unusual at all. Lots of guys like different things. Some like soft dicks, some like feet, some like nipples, and some like guys with shaved heads. Everyone has different turnons. In your case it is simply one that isn't addressed all that much in professional porn, as you have found out. You might want to try amateur porn. They "break the rules" a more often than professional movies do. Amateur jackoff porn may especially give you some of those hot bulges.

As for you being gay vs. bi, you tell me what you are. You didn't say anything about any attractions to women you may have, so I don't know what you are. I do know that a lot of gay guys don't care about assfucking in porn, so don't take that into consideration. If you like bulging crotches, you're at least 50% bi. If you find women less erotic than straight-to-assfucking videos, then you're almost certainly gay. Your particular turn-ons in gay porn have nothing to do with your orientation.

So embrace your turnon and don't worry what anyone else thinks. I suggest going over to www.atkol.com and joining their message forums. Post a message looking for suggestions on movies that show your fantasy. I'll bet you get some replies from others with the same interest as you.

Aaron 'sez: Nope!

Aaron 'sez: Ummm, yes and no. Or rather yes, but your question needs to be rephrased. Consider this amusing scenario. You are single. You go out on the town and become the top slut in the city for a few months. You wind up with every STD on the books, and a few scientists have yet to catalog. Then you hop into a monogamous relationship with your partner. Yes, you are seeing only him and he is seeing you, but you can pass on to him everything you brought into the relationship with you.

So yes, even in a monogamous relationship you both can be exposed to anything the other had previously. Some STDs like gonorrhea or syphilis are short-term in that they show symptoms within a week or so of being diagnosed, but others like HPV may take years before developing into genital or anal warts. So even after years of being completely monogamous, you may suddenly find yourself developing an STD that you can transmit to your partner.

There are also a few other infections that can happen with anyone, whether a monogamous partner or not. For example, urethritic infections are normally the result of being sucked off or fucking someone without a condom. You can pick those up from your lover even if you have been completely monogamous for twenty years.

One final thought. Remember that I'm an escort for a living, so I routinely have sex with men who are straying from their monogamous relationship. It's great to trust your partner, but don't ever be blind about it.

Aaron 'sez: Congrats on deciding to take the plunge! The 6" plunge to be a bit more exact.

The rumors are partially true, but you're making them out to be a horror story in your mind. You're not going to wind up in the emergency room by having anal sex. At least not unless you decide to use your car battery to power your vibrator.

Anal sex can be a uncomfortable or mildly painful if the bottom's sphincter muscles (read: asshole muscles) have not relaxed enough to take a dick inside him. Fortunately relaxing the muscle is easy. The top should spend lots and lots of time playing with his ass. He can use his tongue and later his fingers to rub the outside and inside of the hole. Use lots of lube (I highly recommend ForePlay for anal sex) and don't be in a rush to begin the fucking. Ten minutes to relax, massage, tantalize, rim, and finger the ass of a virgin bottom isn't necessarily too much. Hurrying will make it hurt. Fingering the bottom until he enjoys taking three fingers at once will do the opposite.

As for bleeding and swelling, there is sometimes a few traces of blood after anal sex. This is normal, and should clear up within a few hours. One should only see a doctor if the bleeding is very significant, or if it keeps up for more than three or four days. I have never heard of that happening as a result of anyone getting a dick up their ass. I have never heard of swelling, but your sphincter muscles do sometimes get a bit sore for a few minutes, hours, or at most a day.

Two more notes about anal sex. First, you should make sure you wash your ass off before having sex. Using toilet paper thoroughly earlier in the day doesn't count. Slip a finger soapy inside yourself to make sure your anal canal is clean. And don't eat too much the night before, as a seven-course meal will have to come back out sometime. Would be bad if you had some disastrous timing.

Second and finally, if your lover dumps a load of cum up your butt without a condom, expect it to have to come back out after a few minutes. Even if he doesn't, all that lube inside you will need to come back out. So don't be afraid to excuse yourself and use the bathroom. Sometimes the cum comes back out, sometimes lube, and sometimes a lot of air that the fucking pushed inside you. Either way, being in the bathroom is a good idea. And make sure you have a towel by the bed to clean up anything there.

Have fun!

Aaron 'sez: When being a "pig-bottom" and servicing guys on both ends, it isn't your job to get them off at the same time. Sure, it's a hot thought, but it isn't something you can manage. It's the job of both guys to communicate with each other when they are going to cum. Your role is just to service them to the best of your ability to make cumming easier for them.

So don't worry about any sort of rhythm or style of sex. Just get into position and work their dicks as best you can. If they want to cum at the same time, they'll take it up between them. Your job is to give up your body for their pleasure, and to receive your just rewards when they give it to you.

Aaron 'sez: I suspect one could write a book about being a good bottom. Here are a few suggestions I came up with.

- Push back! Many tops love an aggressive bottom who slams back making the dick slide in even harder. Don't push too hard though if his dick has a tendency to bend. ; )

- Let your partner play with your hole in lots of positions. Not just finger and fuck it, but generally get to know it intimately. Touching, licking, checking it out, and all around becoming its friend. Get into lots of seductive positions to show it off.

- If you have condomless sex with any of your partners and they cum in your ass, have them watch all the cum slide back out. As long as you are clean inside (make sure beforehand), the cum will ooze back out in a really sexy manner. Lots of straight guys like that sorta thing with women, and plenty of gay guys like it with guys' butts. : )

- Invite your partners to fuck you in lots of creative positions. Like sitting in your computer chair backwards so your butt is exposed. (You can even check your e-mail while getting fucked that way, too). Or getting fucked on your kitchen table. Or use vaseline/polyurethane condoms and have him fuck you underwater!

- Moan a lot. Don't act like a female porn star-bimbo, but express your pleasure to your partners. Lots of guys get into that.

- Vary the balance between meeting your needs and his. It's fine to get fucked for your pleasure sometimes, and usually you're doing it for both. It can also be a lot of fun to get fucked for his needs though and put yours aside. In that case don't worry about jacking yourself off or anything. Make a point of giving him the ride of his life.

Suggestions on being a good bottom from anyone else? E-mail 'em my way and I'll post them in an upcoming column.

I looking for an able-bodied escort who I can see in my home regularly. My problem mean that I can't travel far and my income is limited because I have to be on Social Security Benefits. Do you know how I could find a nice escort who wouldn't cost too much and who might be able to help?

Aaron 'sez: Not knowing Portsmouth in England very well - I can't give you any specific suggestions, but I can tell you where to look. The top three websites for finding escorts are the Male Escort Review, Rentboy.com and Escorts4you.com. The listings in Men on the Net (www.menonthenet.com) also have many escorts based in England. I also suggest cruising your local gay chatroom on AOL and ICQ, as a lot of "cyberhustlers" can be found there. Your local gay bar guide is also an excellent place to look, as they usually have escorts in the back.

Three thoughts. First, having an escort come to you shouldn't be difficult. Most escorts happily take outcalls, in which they travel to a client. As long as you can find one which is based within an hour of you, you should do fine in this regard.

Second, be aware that while your disability shouldn't be an issue for any professional escort, there isn't exactly a training program to get into the profession. Accordingly many escorts have no knowledge of the issues involved in working for someone with any sort of disability. I would advise briefly talking to him in advance about your issues. In that way he will be more confident and comfortable when he arrives, and you will enjoy yourself more.

Finally, the issue of money. I would advise in the strongest possible terms that you not ask for any sort of discount because of your disability/limited income situation. Yes, living on Social Security sucks. But you're looking to hire prostitution services, which is hardly a basic necessity in life. You also stated you wanted to find someone to meet with regularly. Asking for a discount because you're poor then hiring someone regularly is hypocritical. Discounts because you spend a LOT of money on an escort might be warranted, but not discounts based on sympathy. Sympathy discounts ("pity fucks") from escorts inherently breed resentment. Don't get anywhere near that path.

Fortunately you didn't say you were going to ask for a discount. You only said you wanted to find an inexpensive escort. That's not easy to do, because prostitution services from reliable escorts are expensive in this country, although I understand they can be a little cheaper in the UK. Spend plenty of time looking, considering your options, and being patient. You can find someone. Just don't expect the world's cutest 18 year-old twink to ravish you for £60 a session. The business doesn't operate that way. But do your research and you may find an option that works for all involved.

Aaron 'sez: I know a guy that really needs to get together with your ex-. He's not into having his nipples worked over. Quite the opposite, he doesn't like it at all. He does owe me a lot of money though, and your ex- might be just the guy to collect for me. ("Can you hand me the big clamp, Aaron?")

Seriously, being in a relationship where someone crosses over your limits really sucks. That's putting it mildly. As you have found, being violated means trusting someone else can be difficult for years to come. Fortunately difficult doesn't mean impossible. With time and patience you, your nipples, and your lover can build a happy relationship.

To get there, be completely honest and upfront to your lover about what happened. Make sure your lover understands that your nipples are now "off-limits" without your invitation. Because of what your ex-lover did, your limits for nipple-play have become much more conservative. If your current lover tries to force the issue and play with them in even a gentle fashion, he is violating your limits and is being almost no different from your ex-.

That being said, you can challenge yourself to bring your nipples back into your sex life. Once your lover demonstrates he can keep his hands and mouth off them, invite your lover to play with your nipples with his tongue, but without his hands or using suction with his mouth. Once you are comfortable with him tongue bathing your nips, allow him to gentle rub his fingers over them, but not to pinch or squeeze them. Over the course of several sessions you can slowly allow him to do more.

During all this, consider what you want your limits to be. Everyone's nipples have a point where pleasurable touching becomes uncomfortable. You have to decide for yourself where that limit is, and teach your partner respect them. If he is incapable of doing so, you need to ask yourself if that is really someone you want to be with.

Aaron 'sez: Both. HIV can be more easily passed from the top to the bottom, but it can go both ways. Most sexually-transmitted diseases can be passed either way.

Since your married, I have a small lesson for you. Barebackers make a conscious decision to accept the dangers of unsafe sex in return for their enhanced enjoyment of sex. It is completely unethical for a person to bareback with one person, and then to claim to be monogamous when having unprotected sex with another.

So as much as you may enjoy condomless sex, better put a wrap on the ol' boy and play safe. There are plenty of nasty STDs you may bring home to your wife, and your troubles will be only beginning if that happens.

Aaron sez: I receive many submissions of questions I have already answered. Aaron's Advice is published every couple of weeks in OutUK and you can see my past OutUK columns in the OutBack archive.

Bedtime Reading

Aaron's bestseller which graphically reveals his businesslike approach to the world's oldest profession. Available at Amazon.

Aaron sez :
For more information about gay health, check out Dr. Goldstone's book, The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex.

Suburban Hustler - Memoirs Of A HiTech Callboy is Aaron's first bestseller which has sold more than 200,000 copies at AmazonUK alone. Available here.