Aaron Lawrence is a 24 year old escort and porn star from New Jersey. He's also got a college degree in Psychology and is the author of The Male Escort's Handbook and Suburban Hustler both of which he published himself. Every fortnight in OutUK he answers your questions on being gay, sex and relationships and any other stuff you might want to ask. He says "My advice is based on my experiences in the sex industry, academia, and life. In no way am I a medical doctor, licensed psychologist, trained sex therapist, or God. Please read my advice with those limitations in mind".

Aaron 'sez: Hey, folks! I'm in Russia at the moment filming some videos, so the next column will take slightly longer to get to you. Never fear though, I have already started work on it, and you'll be able to read here on OutUK soon after my return.

Aaron 'sez: First off, your comment about shoving a porn movie up my hole was not appreciated. Besides the fact that it makes you look like a schoolyard bully that never grew up, it also provides a really lousy example for your arguments. You claim that 15 year olds are not mature enough to watch porn, and yet you can't engage in rational discourse without threats of violence? Sad, friend. Very sad.

I think the reason you wrote that letter had nothing to do with the kid wanting to watch a movie. It was that I told him to consider being in a movie once he turns 18. You had an experience in the industry that wasn't what you thought it would be, so you assume that everyone else will have a bad time as well. Well, too bad. You're the one maintaining we have laws in this country for a reason. If you're going to maintain that those under 18 should not have access to porn because they are not mature enough for it, I'm going to counter that those above 18 are mature enough to handle the porn industry responsibility. You can't have it both ways.

In truth, I believe the reason people can and do get used in the sex industry is because they are turned loose at 18 with the full sexual rights of a 40 year-old, yet with access to no education in the meantime. How can you expect someone to be too young to have sex one day, and then suitable to star in a hardcore SM video the next?

The way to educate kids about sex and sexuality isn't to hide porn from them until they magically become adults. It is to make it accessible to them so that they can study and learn it while still being protected from the darker sides of the industry. So yes, I say let a horny 15 year-old beat off to a porn magazine or video if he wants to. Give him three years to do it before he can even consider being in one. And while we're at it, let him read articles with both the pro and con sides of being in the industry, as well as tips from industry experts on how to avoid being used, chewed up, and spat out in the industry. That will do far more for his education than denying him access to the magazines in the first place.

Aaron 'sez: The "secret" to avoiding STDs from anal sex is by using a condom. Properly used, a condom will protect you against HIV and most STDs. You know that you can buy them in any pharmacy. The instructions are on the box. You want to look for latex condoms rather than polyurethane or lambskin ones. Don't buy the extra-thin or extra-sensitivity ones, and make sure they have the special tip on the end (for the cum to go into).

You'll need a water-based lube as well. Any sex shop can sell you a good lube. Your pharmacy will have a so-so one (safe to use, not the best lube) called KY Jelly made by Johnson & Johnson. Buy that if you're too embarrassed to walk into a sex shop. Oh, and make sure that your lube does not contain nonoxynol-9 in its list of ingredients. It is a spermicide that can irritate the inside lining of your rectum and more easily transmit HIV.

The real decision is whether to use condoms for oral sex. Using them will help to better protect you against STDs, but it does take some of the fun out of the encounter. You have to decide for yourself what level of risk you are going to take. Most men choose not to use them for oral, but a few do. If you do use condoms for oral sex, make sure that it is unlubricated and does not have the reservoir tip. The lube tastes awful, and the tip will make you gag.

Aaron 'sez: Why not start by finding out his opinion on gay issues. Bring up something in the news, such as a gay rights law being debated in your area, or some new gay show on TV. If he responds negatively, you probably won't want to ask him out.

Then try taking him out to a gay-themed movie, or rent something for your VCR. That way it isn't officially a date, but just hanging out. Take him to see something with gay characters. See what he thinks after the movie, and what he has to say. If he's at all interested in you or if he's gay, you'll have an inkling.

Whatever you do, don't let your crush or infatuation get the best of you. Lots of gay men fall for straight guys. They let their feelings blind them to the fact that the guy is straight. Don't give up hope by any means, just keep them realistic and in perspective.

Aaron 'sez: Not at all, provided both people are able to consent when they begin their relationship. The "incest taboo" has never been applied to third cousins. You only share 7.25% of your genes in common (other than the ones that all humans share, that is), and since you're gay procreation is hardly an issue for you. So go for it, but expect a few startled and amused conversations if and when you two come out to your relatives about your relationship.

Aaron 'sez: Yes. I recall doing it once some years back with a guy who had a lot of precum. He mentioned to me that he had so much precum that he was able to fuck guys without lube. I grew intrigued and invited him to fuck me that way. Sure enough, he did!

I have also rimmed (or been rimmed) enough by a guy that my hole opens up naturally so that saliva can serve as a lube. Another fun experience.

In either case, it is a good idea if both people didn't take a shower or wash their dick/ass off for a few hours before sex. The natural oils on the skin help serve as a lubricant, and washing them with soap and water temporarily removes these oils. This is why you'll find that barebacking without lubes is easier than lubeless fucking with condoms. A dick naturally has oils on them, but a condom does not.

Aaron 'sez: Do you mean Sudanese Arabs? If so, you're talking about a claim that the Sudanese Arabs have the world's largest dicks. The claim was made by an unusually dedicated French medic named Dr. Jacobus in 1935. This doesn't mean the Sudanese are the world's biggest though. Other (possibly western-biased) studies have pointed to other countries as having bigger dicks. I suspect the Sudanese are mentioned as having big dicks only because of Dr. Jacobus's finding.

In any case, I went to www.ubgonline.com/real_pe101.html and read about the "Jelq technique" that the Sudanese supposedly practice. Needless to say, I was thoroughly unimpressed. I found no credible evidence there or anywhere else on the Internet to suggest that their results may have any sort of legitimate medical basis.

I also dropped by www.penisimprovement.com to take a look at what Dr. William is saying. The first thing I found is this a claim that the above Sudanese is a crock. Well, sort of. He said you should avoid the Sudanese method because they aren't listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. I'll let you try to figure out the logic in that.

I spent a good ten minutes looking at Dr. William's site. A rather confusing ten minutes. His site is very good at avoiding any specific claims about what his product does, or how it does it. Or rather, it promises itself as a all-around help-all solution. It helps you get hard, be harder longer, get bigger when you're hard, and reduce a curve in your dick if you have one. My guess this is because the FDA requires approval for any product which is intended to diagnose or treat a specific ailment. He very carefully takes advantage of that loophole.

Like it or not, and I will put this in boldface so you won't miss it:

THERE IS NO WAY TO ENLARGE YOUR DICK WITHOUT SURGERY, AND THAT INVOLVES SERIOUS RISKS AND SIDE EFFECTS.

This is one of the most commonly brought up issues in this column, so here is my challenge for you. If you have ever used one of these penis enlargement methods on the site, I want to know how it worked for you? Send your e-mails to aaron@outuk.com.

Aaron 'sez: You and I need to have a little talk about getting laid. You're doing a great job of it, but you're doing a lousy job of picking the right guys. In life, there a few rules on who NOT to fuck around with:

- You don't have sex with your boss or your employees.

- If you're a teacher, a doctor, or a priest, you don't sleep with your students, your patients, or your worshippers. On the flipside, you don't bang your teacher, doctor, priest, or anyone you have an important professional relationship with.

- You don't fuck around with your best friend's lover.

- You don't mess around with someone who actively works to hurt gay rights.

- You don't have sex with a married man unless you're being paid for it, in a bathhouse, out cruising, or if you don't give a hoot about his wife.

- You don't fuck around with your relatives.

Banging your coach violates rule number two. Jumping your aunt's husband is bad news under the fifth rule as well. Why? Because high school teachers and students don't have sex for good reason. They're there to teach you and advocate for your best interest. If students become their sexual playthings, then they're not able to do that any longer.

As for your aunt's husband, tell me this: what's going to happen if your aunt walks in on you? And don't tell me it won't happen. It certainly can. Your parents will find out, your aunt's marriage will blow up, and you'll be the black sheep of the family for years to come. If she doesn't turn him into the police to face criminal charges, that is. In some states he can go to jail for what he is doing.

Don't get me wrong, I think adult-teenage relationships can be wonderful and rewarding experience for some people. But the relationships can't be based on unequal power. What happens if you want to break it off with your coach, but he starts threatening to put you on the bench if you don't put out? And here's a true story: I know one fifteen year-old who started sleeping with his older sister's husband. Ten years later, the older relative sexually harasses the young man something fierce. He has tried to break it off on numerous occasions, but his married relative is very aggressive about sexually harassing him. You don't want to let that happen with you.

I'm not lecturing you here. Well, maybe I am. But you know why. The guys are dogs. Hot in bed perhaps, but not the right guys for you. Drop 'em fast and hard, and replace them with someone that you can trust. And someone who doesn't have a wife that may come after you.

Aaron 'sez: Start by contacting websites that offer exclusive photo sets of guys. These are most common on websites that feature twinky young men, but plenty of other sites about older types exist as well. Approach the webmaster and send him a few samples from the photo set. If he's interested, he'll make you an offer to buy anywhere from 20-60 photographs. The better the quality of the digital pictures, the better the offer you'll be able to get. Either way, don't expect more than perhaps $100 or $150. That's about the going rate for a nude photo shoot for a website.

Aaron 'sez: I saw your picture - very nice! You have piercing eyes and are definitely an attractive man. If you're not getting a date, it certainly has nothing to do with the way you look.

I believe your problem is that you're using your disability as an excuse why you are not meeting people You said you have to put all of your energy into taking care of yourself. Yet you also said you are a music teacher and a classical singer, and that you enjoy good conversation, swimming, old movies, and travelling. That is hardly the lifestyle of someone who spends all his energy on his physical condition. Certainly you may spend some time on self-maintenance in regards to having CP, but all of your energy? Not hardly.

Your goal of developing a friendship that develops into a mutually rewarding long-term relationship is a good one. So what are you doing to realize it? Are you going out in the gay community? Posting personal ads online? Going to the Gay Activist Alliance meetings in Morris County, NJ? Have you been to the New Jersey gay pride gathering in Asbury Park? (It's June 3 this year, you know). Heck there's even a gay bowler's league in Northern NJ, you know. Check out the New Jersey GLBT life website if you need more ideas on how to meet gay guys in the garden state.

Aaron 'sez: It was more important than you know to remove the anal warts in your rectum. Left untreated, they can cause the cells to become precancerous. If that happens, you have a one in ten chance of developing rectal cancer. You definitely don't want that.

Now if you think you were surprised when you developed anal warts, imagine how straight guys feel when they develop them. Anal and genital warts (same thing but different names depending on where you have it) are both caused by HPV, a virus. It is transmitted by sexual contact, and doesn't require an exchange of body fluids like HIV does. You probably contracted it when another guy rubbed his dick up against your ass during sex. He didn't have to put it in to spread the virus there. Years of wiping your ass with toilet paper does that for you.

Precisely why you developed warts after so many years is unknown. Scientists are still studying this issue. They know that having sex with multiple partners is linked to developing warts, but they don't know precisely why warts occur in some people and not others.

According to the published advice by Dr. Goldstone, my medical consultant for this column, all men who have sex with men should have rectal exams and pap smears every three years (every year if they are HIV+). This will look for any redevelopment of anal warts, as well as making sure the inside cells are not precancerous. Your doctor may have special instructions for you, since you have already been dealing with the issue. They may come back, they might not. I can't predict that for you. Talk to your doctor and take his advice on how to proceed from here.

Aaron 'sez: Sure, as long as he deserved it. In some cases it might be polite to clarify the issue with him, but you don't have to do it by saying you're writing a review.

Aaron 'sez: Your question is certainly one of the more unique I have ever received. Porn stars usually have good skin to begin with, and their butts prepped by the producer's assistant ("PA" in porn-speak). There are certainly services out there that specialize in skin cleansing though.

I suggest you look for a medical esthetician. To reach that level the practitioner is required to have a medical degree rather than the usual two years of training. As a result you are going to find the practitioner provides much more personalized services and does so in an office rather than an expensive salon. One such person is Dr. Patricia Dickerson in Ohio. Another suggestion is the Allura Skin and Laser Center. You can find a number of them online by doing a search for "medical esthetician". Just be sure you don't pick one who is a para-medical esthetician. Or if you do, be aware they will have considerably less training than a medical doctor. Call their office and see if they have any suggestions for finding a medical esthetician closer to your area. Although you may be willing to fly somewhere, you may be able to avoid doing so with a bit of research.

Aaron sez: I receive many submissions of questions I have already answered. Aaron's Advice is published every couple of weeks in OutUK and you can see my past OutUK columns in the OutBack archive.

Bedtime Reading

Aaron's bestseller which graphically reveals his businesslike approach to the world's oldest profession. Available at Amazon.

Aaron sez :
For more information about gay health, check out Dr. Goldstone's book, The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex.

Suburban Hustler - Memoirs Of A HiTech Callboy is Aaron's first bestseller which has sold more than 200,000 copies at AmazonUK alone. Available here.