Aaron Lawrence is a 26 year old escort and porn star from New Jersey. He's also got a college degree in Psychology and is the author of The Male Escort's Handbook and Suburban Hustler both of which he published himself. Aaron answers your questions in this regular OutUK column on being gay, sex and relationships and any other stuff you might want to ask. He says "My advice is based on my experiences in the sex industry, academia, and life. In no way am I a medical doctor, licensed psychologist, trained sex therapist, or God. Please read my advice with those limitations in mind".

Aaron 'sez: In my bathroom you will find a box filled with baby wipes. I have found them to be perfect for cleaning up after a particularly hard fuck when my tissues are feeling sensitive. You are correct - when tissues are dry or irritated, harsh soaps and water aren't always the best way to go. For day-to-day use though they generally work fine though. And as useful as the lotions go, washing oneself with soap and water is the classic way of washing away sexually-transmitted disease-causing germs. It's not the only way, but it is often the most convenient.

Aaron 'sez: I'm sure the Vaseline is difficult to remove in the amounts you are using. The instructions for the Jelq technique that I looked at suggested only using a teaspoon's worth.

For those readers who are not savvy to penile enlargement, the Jelq technique is a technique that is Sudanese Arabs (or whomever else the stories mention) supposedly passed down between males from generation to generation. Where they found Vaseline and nutrition supplements I am not sure, but somehow it supposedly worked for them. The technique itself involves forcing blood into the penis in 100-200 repetitions for starters, and up to 300-600 at more advanced levels. Certainly it does make one's dick engorged at the moments you do it; cockrings are based on the same principle. Yet I see no reason to believe that repeated use of the Jelq technique will have any sort of significant size gain. More on that in a minute.

Consider this. If you went from 6.5 to 7 inches as you claimed, that is actually only a 7.7% size increase. Not very impressive as far as enlargements go. An average sized dick of 5 inches can expect to increase by only .385 inches, and a smaller dick of 3" would only wind up around 3.2". That's not very noticeable. Just for your information, humans are able to perceive noticeable differences when things differ by about 5%. So any noticeable difference in dick size will be marginal at best. Expect your partners to have to strain and concentrate to notice a difference. A 7.7% increase will not have anyone "oohhhing" at your new bigger dick.

To be honest though, I don't think a 7.7% increase is realistically achievable with the Jelq technique. I actually don't think it will work at all. Muscle tissues can break down and be rebuilt (ie; bodybuilding), but I have never seen any credible evidence to suggest that erectile tissue can undergo the same process. I suspect your size change is more a result of wishful thinking and the casual nature of using a ruler to measure one's dick.  How firmly you push the end of the ruler into your body can easily give you that half-inch. Push the ruler in a little harder and your Jelq technique may suddenly increase your dick by an inch or more.

Aaron 'sez: For starters, learn to type coherently. It took me several minutes to sort through the mishmash of your letter and put together the above question. I can see why you might be having trouble. You came across to me as a very lonely person who flunked third grade English. When it comes to meeting Mr. Right on the Internet, spelling, grammar, and punctuation count. you cant rwiite alove letter f itt reds likethis. Got it?

The next step is to assess what you are like in person. Perhaps there is something about you that needs addressing. Do you smell bad? Does your home look like the state board of health should be called in? Do you brag to your gay friends how you listen to Rush Limbaugh every day? Does your hair scream "white afro"? These are things that I can't answer but you can. You don't have to be perfect to live happily ever after. Let's face it - there are some pretty ugly people out there who have lovers. Consider whether you are oblivious to something in your life that might be causing problems.  This may not apply to you, but then again it may.

Assuming that you're a charming, witty, and handsome guy with a Rolls Royce... well, scratch that. Assuming you're polite, friendly, don't break mirrors when you look at them, and are able to make your car payments on time, you should be able to find someone to date. Your trouble may be that you're simply not in a big enough market to find anyone. Let's face it. South Dakota ain't gay central. It's a Dakota. No one lives there. You know that, I know that, and everyone but the descendents of the original settlers and the local Native American population know that. There are nice people there that would make great lovers, yes. But apparently you missed last call and they all have lovers now.

So why not move? Pick a city, find a job there, and head off for greener pastures. You have Omaha, Des Moines, and Minneapolis all within a few hours drive. Any of the three of them ought to have plenty of men eligible for dating. If you can't find anyone there, give yourself a looksie again.  Your trouble might be something more subtle than I originally suggested. Perhaps your standards are too high or you are boring to talk to. Those are long-term issues you can try to address.

If you don't want to move, then start building your wish list on amazon.com. Find a nice bench at your local park, and spend lots of time there reading. Patience is often what it takes to find Mr. Right in a small town, and the gay community in Rapid City is a small, close-knit community indeed.

Aaron 'sez: It's days like this I am glad that gay men do not typically ad to the gene pool. Think about your question for a few moments. If you are sucking yourself, then who is the guy giving you AIDS?

To give you some credit though, your question has some merit. A generalized infection like AIDS (ie; throughout your whole body) cannot be transmitted, as you already have it all within you. But an infection like gonorrhea or herpes in your dick can be transmitted to your lips, mouth, and throat.

Learn something new every day, eh? If your original question was based on your knowledge of spreading herpes across your own body, then I withdraw my gene pool comment. But somehow I don't think it was...

Aaron 'sez: There are lots of places to go for more information. There's a article here on OutUK called Escort Etiquette and also one on own website. I wrote an article recently for Unzipped Magazine on this very topic. It's a rather inaccurately titled, "How to Hire an Escort in Ten Easy Steps." (I didn't name it - don't blame me!) They're more tips than steps, but give it a read anyway. In a nutshell? Go to escorts4you.com or rentboy.com, pick out the escorts in your area that seem most interesting, then go to male4malescorts.com and look the escorts and their reviews. Give them a call and say you are looking for information on their services. Tell them you are new to hiring escorts and ask them any questions you may have. Judge them based on their personality on the phone as well as how they look in their pictures. If they seem cold and impersonal on the phone, they probably will be in person.

Whenever you're ready to set up an appointment, call them back and say you're ready to go for it. They'll walk you through the scheduling process, and through the encounter when you meet. It's always a bit of gambling whether you're hiring a winner or not, but with the tips in the article and this answer you should do just fine.

Aaron 'sez: You have three hairy brothers and you're pretty smooth. Hmm!  You don't resemble your postman by any chance, do you?

Assuming you don't, there are a few things you should know. First, being hairy does not equal being sexy or masculine. There are plenty of gorgeous guys out there who are very smooth. Being smooth is very in for some people. That's why there's a huge hair removal industry out there. If you're "doomed" to be smooth, make the best of it by finding a boyfriend that likes smooth guys. Assuming you're gay (you didn't say if you were), you can find a hairy boyfriend if you want. Smooth guys are more in demand than hairy ones, so numbers are on your side.

Second, know that being hairy isn't going to protect you from taunting from your brothers. Older brothers tease little brothers.  For better or for worse, it is the way of the world. No matter how much you look like them, they will be able to find something about you make fun of. Your clothes, your hobbies, your voice, your car... anything is fair game when big brothers are concerned. The big game in my house was for the older brothers to tease the little ones until they "yipped" and got upset. The way the little brothers won was to keep their cool, act unphased at the teasing, and make the teaser look stupid for trying. So next time your brothers tease you about being smooth, offer to look up electrolysis clinics in the phone book for them.

Third, a little good news and bad news. The good news is that guys do get more body hair as they get older. The bad news is that it often takes many years. One of the side effects of testosterone is increased body hair and decreased hair on your head. Hang in there for a few more years. At 17 years of age, your body hasn't quite completed its trip through adolescence. You may suddenly find your chest sprouting hair in a year or two. Everyone develops differently, and I can't say how you will turn out.

Last thought, don't give up the jacking off. The idea that masturbation causes you to grow hair is a myth.  Good thing too, since the myth is that hair grows on the palms of your hands. Talk about explaining hairy palms to your brothers!

Aaron 'sez: I checked with Dr. Goldstone, the medical consultant to this column to see what he had to say. The good doc suggests you might have phimosis, a condition in which the foreskin becomes progressively tighter over time.  This is often due to prior infections under the foreskin, although can occur for other reasons as well. Whatever you do, don't try to stretch the foreskin on your own. It won't help and can actually make the condition worse.

If this is you (and it very well may be!), go find yourself a urologist (male sex organ doc) and schedule and appointment. He specializes in this sort of thing and will be able to tell you what is going on. In the case of phimosis some doctors will recommend circumcision, while others suggest just removing or cutting the part that is tight.

This may be a scary thought, but don't let it push you away from seeing a doc. Solving your issue will make sex a lot more enjoyable for both you and your partner.

Aaron 'sez: I talked with the Doc about your situation too, who suggested that my vast experience with anal sex might qualify me to answer the question better than him. This coming from a proctologist! Me thinks he's been eating breakfast from the medicine cabinet again...

Seriously, your situation sounds like it will not be difficult to solve. That is if you were able to get fucked just fine before the warts. As the doc and I see it, there are two possibilities here. First, that your butt hasn't fully healed yet. Giving it a rest for a few more weeks may solve the problem. Second, that there is some mild scarring that needs to be stretched in order for you to be comfortably fucked again.

If that is the case, drop by your sex shop and buy yourself a set of dildos ranging from extra-small to medium. Medium being the size of your typical partner, not a medium dildo for guys who enjoy being fist-fucked. Once you get home, start fucking yourself with the smallest dildo first. Over a series of jackoff sessions, slowly work your way up to the large one. Your anal muscles will stretch a bit as they get used to being fucked again, so you will notice progress over time. Not to mention you'll have a lot of fun in the process.

Hopefully you have a partner that can help you with this. As a bit of encouragement, tell him that as soon as the medium dildo can fuck your ass comfortably he can go for a ride. With an offer like that, how will he be able to refuse?

Aaron 'sez: I would wait at least 4-6 hours. Viagra has a long activity. To be really safe I wouldn't use poppers the same day you use Viagra, you should wait 24 hours or so to make sure the drug is totally out of your system.

Aaron 'sez: It sounds like you are less looking for a quick bit of advice and more looking for a big brother to walk you through the stress of having your first experience. Consider picking up a copy of the New Joy of Gay Sex or Gay Sex: A Manual for Men who Love Men. Both should be able to give you a 101 introductory course into the basics of gay sexuality. The books do not have a lot of information regarding sex with large men, but they will provide you with lots of possible positions.  You will need to determine for yourself what works for you and what does not. Like many things in life, large men must tailor everyday activities to their own physical needs. What forms of sex you wind up having will be determined based on your body, preferences, desires, and partner's wishes. There's no pat answer of what sex you can have. Just get experimenting and find out what works for you.

As far as "chubby" websites go, a great place to start is Chubnet. It is a fairly up-to-date site with news on all of big gatherings (no pun intended) for gay chubs and their admirers. For AIDS education, check out the AIDS education area on gmhc.org. For a quick how-to less on sex, I suggest you check out Jetlagfag's Sex Guide. Finally, for the big brother... well, I guess that's what you've got me for! So get reading those sites, and stay tuned in to my columns. : )

Aaron 'sez: Too much precum? I don't believe it. As a precum junkie, I believe the more there is the better. I totally get off on men that drip precum so much that their shorts get a wet spot in it. It's awesome when I suck on them because I get to keep tasting their shots of precum. I'm hard even as I write this thinking about it.

My preferences, however arousing, are not what you wrote to me to ask. You wanted to know if you could get rid of some of that precum. The answer is... nope! Ain't nothing you can do about it, and you shouldn't try. Precum is the body's mechanism for changing the ph balance of the urethra during sex. Urine is slightly acidic, precum is not. As a result, the lots of little sperm that travel out don't find themselves killed off by the acid. As a gay men that may not be an important to you, but your opinions weren't being considered when the guy at the desk of the Galactic Evolutionary Department (Earth Division) made out the blueprints for the human male.

In short? You're stuck with it.  When hiring an escort, explain to him your situation in advance to make sure he doesn't have an issue with it. With any luck you won't have trouble at all finding precum junkies like myself to gleefully lavish attention on your dick.

Aaron 'sez: If you want to have a career in the sex industry like me, the first thing to do is get yourself off to college. You need a place where you can meet sexual men, and need to establish a set of skills to use in your new career. While you're in college you can study any subject you want, but it's worthwhile doing a course which includes a module of small business management. Taking your clothes off on film is easy, and anyone with a decent look can do it. The money and long-term career stability are in running your own business, and you'll need a certain set of skills to do that. You can learn them on your own if need be, but you might as well get credit towards your degree. Oh, take a class or two in web site design as well. The Internet is where the action is, and you'll be a very poor businessman indeed if you keep begging your friends to design your exhibitionistic websites for you.

Somewhere along the line (now or in college), get yourself a job with the goal of earning around £1000 for startup costs on your business. Buy a used copy of Adobe's Go Live! or Microsoft's Frontpage web design software... have a look at an auction site like eBay. A bit is used for signing up with Microsoft's Listbuilder, an e-mailing list management tool. Use the rest to pay for your first year of web hosting costs. Escorting is a great way to make that money, and you'll have a ton of exhibitionistic related offers if you stay in the business for long. Posing for adult websites is a great job too, and as a side benefit you'll be able to use the pictures for your new enterprise.

Speaking of which... Use the still camera to take naked pictures of yourself, and the web design software to create your homepage - an exhibitionistic website. Use Listbuilder to grow a mailing list of people who enjoy your site. Write to them at least once a month, and tell them about all of the new content you have. You can have lots of content as well. Create pages about yourself, pages about your sexual hobbies, pages of you posing naked in different places, pages about your friends that want to take their clothes off, pages about your sexual fantasies... pages about anything! One thing... keep on the right side of the law where you are, you don't want to end up with a fine, or worse, a stay in jail. Your goal here is to create a large and vast website all about yourself and your exhibitionism. You don't have to be gorgeous to do this. You just have to be interesting. Find out how other exhibitionistic people get their website traffic, and advertise yourself anywhere they do for free. Putting your pictures on other people's picture galleries in return for links back to your site is one way. There are hundreds of others.

Whether escorting or just running your page, you'll eventually start getting offers to pose naked for other sites and videos. Think long and hard about your offers. Not whether to take them - you should accept almost any offer that is made, unless it is absolutely trashy and tasteless. But how you can make a counteroffer to your long-term advantage. Case in point: My first porn video I did was for Robert Prion. He offered me $300 for one scene. I could have negotiated him up to $350 or $400, but that extra money is very little in the scheme of things. Instead, I made him a counter offer offering to do both the first and a second scene for free, in exchange for 25 free copies of the finished tape and an agreement to buy as many more that I wanted at cost. I started selling them on my website for $40 each, and have grossed over $5200 over the years on the tape. The real money in porn always derives from thinking businesslike and long-term. Your strategy is to build up your site. If someone's initial offer can't be countered to enhance your site, the offer isn't worth taking.

From there?  Well, you need to think long-term and decide how you want to run your business. Your goal is to establish your site as a source of income to live on. How you do that is up to you. Escorting, video sales, banner ads, website sponsorship, and memberships are all options. There are plenty of others as well. My own website is at AaronLawrence.com. Other entrepreneurial exhibitionists are at seanstorm.com, willclarkusa.com, chrisgeary.com, ericmagyar.com, and vidkidtimo.com. There are lots more of then on the web.

Just remember that this is a business like any other. It has some wonderful rewards, but ultimately the truly successful exhibitionists are those that enter the career because they love the work. If this appeals to you, get started on your career as soon as you can. The more your site develops, the more successful you will be when you finally make it to Russia (or wherever). I'm off to Thailand in three weeks, and you'd better bet I'm going to be getting into some serious exhibitionism there. You too can follow in my footsteps if your passion is great enough.

Aaron 'sez: I lost a 28 year-old friend of mine to AIDS last year, and there are plenty more people lining up at the grave behind him.  AIDS is no longer a death sentence per se, but it is a conveyor belt that speeds up your journey in that direction. We all wind up six-feet-under one way or another, but some of us get there faster than others.

In the case of conversion parties, I have never actually read any writings from someone who went to them.  People seroconvert to being HIV+ all the time. It usually happens by accident though, or because there were playing unsafely while avoiding any thought to the possible risks. Few people seroconvert on purpose, and usually those are done in a very quiet fashion. The classic example was during the 1980's in San Francisco when the community was devastated with AIDS. Men who lost all their friends and lovers would sometimes seroconvert out of depression and loneliness. A few seroconvert to rectify the imbalance in their relationship with an HIV+ lover.

You specifically asked about "bug chasers," those that intentionally seroconvert for reasons of social empowerment. That's a rare phenomenon that doesn't occur a fraction as often as the stories about the subject suggest. If you read stories with specific interviews and examples, you will need to know they keep citing the same few sources over and over. There may be a kernel of truth in that people have intentionally seroconverted for such a stupid reason, but it has rapidly blown out of proportion as a full-fledged urban myth.

That being said, know that HIV-infection rates are on the rise again, particularly among young gay men who didn't live through the terror of the 80's and early 90's. People have come to view AIDS as a chronic condition rather than a disease which can be avoided, however we just don't know the long trem effectiveness of the expensive drugs currently used to treat those infected. The pursuit of frequent and intense sex has always been important to some of the gay male community, and like it or not the rise of barebacking parallels the loss of fear about the disease, but I can't understand why anyone would want to put themselves at such risk.

Aaron 'sez: Being cut is a bit like being a natural blond. It's one way you can look, but it's hardly what decides the quality of your life. If a person is uncircumcised, typically they do just fine in that way. Some eventually require circumcision for medical reasons, while others choose to have it done for aesthetic, religious, or cultural purposes. In general though, there is no strong medical reason to be circumcised. If your foreskin isn't causing you discomfort and you don't have repeated trouble with ballinitis (infections under the foreskin), you're fine the way you are.

Aaron 'sez: Good question. What's it like to be straight?

Aaron 'sez: Just as the Victorian age in England was not kind to Oscar Wilde, historic America was also not kind to gay men. If you propositioned someone who complained to the police, you may find yourself brought up on charges of indecent behavior.

To get around these risks, educated gay men began using certain catch phrases. So if you approached a stranger and asked if he had seen the new musical, a straight guy might reply he had, and that it was wonderful. A gay guy might say that the music was fabulous, and wouldn't you like to discuss it over a drink? In this manner there is no immediate legal risk. If by some chance you wind up having a drink with a someone that clearly wouldn't be open to some fun, you'll realize your error and can keep the conversation on neutral level. The word gay began being used for much the same reason. Straight people thought it meant happy. Not-so-straight folks quickly picked up the duel meaning and began using the word discreetly on their own. This word never gained a great deal in popularity with the slowly growing urban gay communities of the 1950's and 1960's.

Along with this goes another lesson. Until the 1860's, men who have sex with men were referred to by a lot of negative terms, but no neutral ones. The German writer Karl Kertbeny invented the phrase "homosexual" to serve as a more neutral term.  The scientific community jumped on that word which is still used today by out-of-step scientists, journalists, politicians, and "pay-to-pray" conservative evangelists. When the modern gay liberation movement began in 1969, a new word was needed to reclaim the identity of the community from those that would label us and keep us inferior. Those that remembered the word "gay" spoke up, and the community has never been the same since.

Now here's one for you. One of the phrases that was used was whether someone was a "Friend of Dorothy." Can you figure out where that one came from? If I remember I'll answer it in my next column. : )

Aaron sez: I receive many submissions of questions I have already answered. Aaron's Advice is published every couple of weeks in OutUK and you can see my past OutUK columns in the OutBack archive.

Bedtime Reading

Aaron's bestseller which graphically reveals his businesslike approach to the world's oldest profession. Available at Amazon.

Aaron sez :
For more information about gay health, check out Dr. Goldstone's book, The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex.

Suburban Hustler - Memoirs Of A HiTech Callboy is Aaron's first bestseller which has sold more than 200,000 copies at AmazonUK alone. Available here.