| We live in a world of deeply confusing messages when it comes to sex. We are supposed to be liberated, responsible, experimental, safe, cutting-edge, traditional, dominant, submissive, sex-positive, and celibate--and above all else we are not supposed to follow a heterosexual model. | |
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So it's no wonder that gay men's sexual behaviour can
cause all kinds of problems. For some men the answer is drugs or
drink, for others their sex life goes out of control.
Chris W. Witwer has been reading a book called Cruise Control, which explores the difference between whats become known as a sex addiction and what is just a healthy sexual appetite. Written by Rob Weiss director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in California, Cruise Control focuses entirely on sexual experiences from a gay man's point of view. |
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| Gay men receive conflicting messages about sex don’t be a perv, don’t be a prude, don’t be a slut, don’t - do - don’t. So gay male literature is rife with books encouraging men to embrace their sexuality, find partners, have fun, and do it do it do it. We’re told to be safe yet enjoy experimentation, be sex-positive, and perhaps the most contradictory of all be monogamous/don’t be monogamous (ie. Don’t follow the heterosexual model for monogamy). | |
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No wonder there are men out there who are confused about what their sex drives mean, what
to do about them, and how to know if sex is a problem or just one of the better parts
of our sex-positive gay culture. This is where Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction
in Gay Men comes in.
Written by a former board member and committee chair of America's National Council for Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity and the current director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles, the book doesn’t assume that all sexually active gay men are addicts. Neither does it assume that there’s anything wrong with gay sex at all. |
 Cruise Control is available now from Amazon |
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Cruise Control
avoids political and moral arguments altogether and instead shines its light on the
clinical approach to recovery—asking first, “Is your sexual behaviour causing problems
in other areas of your life?”
In this refreshingly gay-positive professional look at compulsive and addictive sexual behaviours in the gay male community, author Robert Weiss contributes a timely and important discussion on gay male sexuality and offers understanding, empathy, and encouragement to gay men who seek healthy sexual expression. Betty Berzon, Ph.D., author of Permanent Partners: Building Gay and Lesbian Relationships That Last has called Cruise Control a “…very thorough and much needed guide to dealing with the complex issues involved in gay male sex addiction.” Offering insights into recognizing healthy, non-addictive sexual behavior, Cruise Control helps readers distinguish between addictive and compulsive behaviors—harmful behaviours—and healthy ones. In addition to addressing an audience of men who may find their sexual behaviours unhealthy, the book also provides resources for partners, friends, health care professionals, and other non-addicts who strive to nurture sexual healing and personal growth among addicted gay men. Always specific to gay men, Cruise Control explores the impact of the gay culture on male sex addicts, and suggests encouragement and resources that are gay-specific. The term “sex addict” has been tossed around for years, but Cruise Control clearly defines the term and tells us exactly what is, and what is not, a sexually addictive or compulsive behaviour. Major topics include How Do I Know If I’m a Sex Addict, Crystal, Sex, and Other Addictions, Starting Sex Addiction Recovery, Making Changes and Finding Help, and Beyond Sex and Love Addiction: Taking Healthy Next Steps, and an entire chapter for spouses and partners, and significant others. © 2005 GayWired.com, All Rights Reserved Order Cruise Control : Understanding Sex Addiction by Robert Weiss (Alyson Books) from Amazon | |