Tie me tight and tease my tits! Now that BDSM play is becoming more and more mainstream OutUK has sent its very own hard man
Adrian Gillan for some training at a BDSM "discovery night" for novice knotters and trainee tweakers.
The guy in uniform at the door greets me with a broad smile and then slaps a name badge onto
my left pec: Ouch! An apt start, I thought, as I squeeze past a portly suited chap with
bad B.O. and scurry across to the bar to down a few stiff ones.
So far, so good: not too packed and it's camp as they come, almost civilised in fact - quite
a sherry party. Some are in uniform but most, like me, are new to this SM lark, not least
to tonight's theme: bondage. A few master-slave combos clank around but it's mainly
singles nervously circulating, scouting the bare-brick industrial space under these
Vauxhall arches: a two-roomed, two-tiered mish-mash of grills and mesh with scattered
demo areas where hardened SMers stand poised to bind and probe.
As numbers build, clusters form around these hurtful hubs. One tattooed guy has had
himself chained to a wire grill, masked and then soundly nipple tweaked to convulsion.
Meanwhile his dick is levered out and sundry onlookers grope, with the SM Gays staffer
on guard taking questions from the floor.
Crrrrack! My attention is led upstairs to a bench where an elderly guy in school uniform
is being restrained and a queue has already formed to do the honours with assorted paddles,
whips and straps. I bump into my large, smelly man again, gazing down at me, flexing a
cane invitingly: "Would you like to be flogged? You can leave your pants on if you like
to avoid the sting."
I politely decline: "My skin is very sensitive and marks easily."
He persists: "Would you cane me then?"
Not without enthusiasm, I agree and we retreat to a remote corner. He removes his sweaty jacket
and hands me the rod: "Don't hold back." I coil and unleash.
"Harder," rasps a muffled voice in agony. "Harder, much harder."
I'm the one wincing, though soon into the swing of things. He stands upright: "How many was that
in all? Twenty lashes? Enjoy that? Think I'll take a rest now but want another twenty in
half an hour. Bye."
Off he hobbles.
Another demo across the way has several guys straight-jacketed, masked and bound to posts
with their nads dangling through thongs and straps.
No mask could quite veil their age
and weight, though I find myself attracted to one young-seeming slim lad sporting a PVC
canine mask whose ear flaps are poppered down over the eye holes so he can't see a thing,
which is his kick - being at the mercy of anonymous strangers, save for the ever-watchful
eye of the omnipresent SM Gays volunteers.
I fondle and squeeze his cock as he writhes and pushes up against my hand.
All the while
I'm staring into his muzzle of a mask, with mouth zip open and fastener tag hanging down the
side like dribble, mesmerised - grotesque, comic and sinister at once. I see a dog's head,
an idiot's glare and now a listless randy youth and trip off on my fantasy and power.
But the main attraction, around which this entire underworld spins is the eponymous
"Hoist", centre-stage: a chain pulley slung over two floors where subs queue up like
boys at a fair to be strapped into a full-body leather mummy-like coffin casket number
and get winched above the assembled crowd where - immobile and swinging - genitals and arse
are goaded by stretched out hands through gaping zips.
SM is all about trust, you can't give your body and its most intimate functions up to someone you don't trust
SM pleasure can be derived from the physical (pain and endorphins) or the mental (fantasy and role play), or both.
SM activity still constitutes an illegal assault if it imparts marks or
injuries that can be considered as more than "transient and trifling", regardless of consent
a particularly juicy love bite could therefore technically be illegal.
Common sense - apparently it's not so common! But certainly never get tied up by an unidentifiable
stranger, and know some basic first aid
The passive partner should agree a cut-off password or adopt the
green ("go for it"), amber ("proceed with caution"), red ("bloody well stop") system
With masks ensure air passages are aligned and unhindered, use poppers with caution
and never leave your slave unattended
Powder your rubber with talc to start; like condoms, never use an
oil-based lube; beware sharp buckles; after use, wash with mild detergent and towel
dry - never use your tumbler - and avoid metal hangers
During bondage watch out for panic, numbness, blueness, fainting and tingling, or chaffing, bleeding and burns;
remember - metal chains can nip; always have round-ended scissors or keys to hand; try out those knots
somewhere first and keep them simple, especially if on your own; never get tied up by unidentifiable
strangers or tie anything around a neck
When flogging - never hit the spine, eyes, head, neck, kidneys, hands or genitals; know how to hit your mark;
practice on a pillow; remember - a moving target is harder to hit, so no larking about and watch the drink;
hit target with just the tip of the lash, not the full length; pay particular attention to hygiene,
notably should cuts occur.
So what did I "discover" tonight?|
The SM scene is civilised, responsible and friendly, not
rough and risky; I'm personally more into SM role-play than the actually giving and taking
of pain; and these monthly themed sessions are the perfect way to try things out and test
your limits safely.
So come on boys, loose them chains!
Our online store ShopGay stocks a wide range of paddles, whips and other BDSM gear.
SM Gays are a non-profit social and educational group who help gay guys have safe, consensual, sexual SM.
Meeting since July 1981, its aim is to encourage safe and lawful SM practices through sharing of information
among people with similar interests. The group is unfunded and run by volunteers. Every month the group holds
a Discovery Night in Central London where you can learn more about SM techniques and meet other people with
similar interests. There is no membership requirement or dress code and the atmosphere is friendly and informal. At
present these events attract around 50-75 gay men.
SM Gays have just been able to safely start up again following the Covid restrictions. Their next meeting is a
Rope Bondage Discovery Night on 20th January 2022 between 6:00 pm - 11:00 pm in Central London.
You can find out more information at www.smgays.org