SPEAKING OF CLEANLINESS | |
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It may be next to godliness, but cleanliness is controversial when it comes to sex.
For some it's a prerequisite; for others a buzz kill.
"Nothing's more of a turn-off to me than body odour," says one fastidious fellow. "If a man can't be bothered to bathe and brush his teeth before we have sex, then he's not going to get in my pants." Routine washing - and good grooming in general - is generally seen as a sign of self-respect as well as concern for others. Certainly, freshly scrubbed flesh has a clean-cut appeal, and many a date has said, "I'll be over as soon as I've showered." But can a guy be too clean? Too deodorised? |
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Lots of gay guys agree that men should smell like men. Despite high-powered marketing
campaigns, colognes and body sprays have limited appeal for many queer men; some sex
parties, particularly of the leather sort, ban scent-wearing altogether. "I don't mind
a man wearing Calvin Klein jeans," says one guy, "but I'd rather he not smell like
something that Calvin cooked up in the lab." In fact, recent research indicates that
gay men's brains, unlike those of our straight brethren, are turned on by pheromone-rich
male sweat. Those of us who love ripe armpits will no doubt be comforted in knowing
there's a scientific reason for it.
Of course, tastes and tolerance vary. "There's a difference between pleasing funk and offensive dirt, I think," says a fellow who's not too fussy. "Recently, a fuck buddy of mine came over after a long day at work. He was sweaty, which was cool, and his uncut dick was, well, faintly tangy, which I like. But when it was time to play with his butt, I suggested we head for the bathroom for a little scrub." When it comes to arse, most men feel it's a matter of "the cleaner, the better," and that includes internal tidiness. Though it's not always necessary, Douching - using a gadget like this from our Online Shop is often the prelude to penetration. Just be gentle, use plain water, and allow some pre-date time for drainage. One need not fetishise filth to feel that some guys take the scrubbing routine way too far. One fairly tidy man recalls, "I made a date on the phone-sex line with a man who asked me repeatedly whether I was clean, if I'd showered. Well, I had showered at the gym that morning, but I washed up again, anyway. But when he came over, his behaviour was so dirt-phobic that it was creepy. I mean, he was hot-looking, but...hey, it's just a little precum on your leg, OK?" Good manners should trump fastidiousness. While few of us like our date's place to be a serious mess, reeking of cat piss and unwashed dishes, don't volunteer household tips; you're not Martha Stewart or Delia. Neither is it polite to treat a shag like he's an intrusion into one's perfectly kept home. Do what you can to prevent messiness, but if a sheet or two gets stained, chalk it up to the consequences of a hot fuck. Face it, good sex can get messy. While some men fetishise unwashed clothes and others keep their homes so clean you could perform surgery in the kitchen, for most of us, a modicum of cleanliness strikes the right note. As one guy says, "I like a man who's relaxed with his own body. I'd just rather that he not make me gag. Unless it's when I'm going down on him."
Simon SheppardNow here's your chance to meet the man behind this column. OutUK has an interview with Simon Sheppard or you can take a look at some of his books that are currently available:
Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called Hotter Than Hell. In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines. | |
