SPEAKING OF DILDOS

Hey, dude, shove it up your arse. Or someone else's.

"I don't know why some people look down on using dildos," says one anally oriented guy. "When you do it right, playing with toys is, after all, safe and lots of fun."

And sure enough, he's right. Dildos - whether vein-laden and anatomically correct or art deco sleek - may not be the "real thing," but they may in some ways be even better. A dildo is the date that never goes soft, and unlike a boyfriend's basket, you can order one in just the size you like.
"It takes me a while to come, and having my butt filled really helps," confides one young stud. "I can outlast a lot of tops, so I like to carry an anal toy or two along when I go out on a date. I tell my partner ahead of time, though, just to make sure he knows I'm not saying he's inadequate, just that I'm insatiable."

Plenty of tops like dildos, too. "As I get older, I find that condoms make it tougher for me to stay hard when I'm screwing someone," says a middle-aged man. "With a toy, I can work a guy's hole as long and hard as he likes. And I can work him from both ends simultaneously, sliding a dildo up his butt while my dick is in his mouth. Plus, I can go get a beer and still keep him filled."

And then there are those kinky folks who simply get off on shoving foreign objects - sometimes, big, thick foreign objects - up other men's behinds. It's an erotic moment than can seem dominating, even degrading, or can, conversely, be all about providing pleasure to another guy.

The delightful dildo works well for solo sex, too. Many men with anal appetites find plastic pricks to be marvellous masturbation pals. "I can get my favorite toy to hit my prostate just right," says one satisfied user. "That's more than I can say for most of my sex partners."

Many devoted dildo fans build up a collection of constructed cocks, often in increasing sizes and girths. Consumer capitalism being what it is, dildos come in a dizzying array of shapes, sizes, colors, and materials. And, as with other purchases, a bit of research and budget-stretching can pay off in the end. Soft rubber jobbies can be hard to keep clean, while vinyl models are easier to wash, but stiffer. To many men's tastes, top-of-the-line silicone dicks are just firm enough, with a pleasantly smooth surface, and they can be sterilized by boiling them in water.

(Whatever dildo you choose, make sure it has balls or a base, so it can't slip all the way in and get lost up there. And dinguses stiffened with a can-hurt-you metal wire or shaft are strictly a no-no.)

Unlike latex-sheathed cocks, most dildos can be safely slicked up with oils and greasy lubes. But if flesh-penis fucking is also on the menu, globs of stray grease or a Crisco-basted butt present a big breakage risk to rubbers. And you should never, ever share toys during a scene unless you wrap them in a fresh condom every time, or clean them scrupulously between uses.

Regardless, the vast majority of queer men would agree that dildo maintenance is a lot simpler than the care and feeding of a boyfriend. Dildos are never late for a date, and after you've come, they don't insist on boring you with chitchat about their annoying flatmate or their new computer.

So bring on those ever-ready shafts of passion. Remember: It's not an imitation anything. It's a real dildo.

Simon Sheppard

Check out our range of dildos in our brand new online store ShopGay. We've got massive stocks and despatch is within one business day by Recorded Delivery in very discreet packaging.

Sex Parties 101 - Order Here
Want to throw a sex party but have no idea where to begin? Do you want to go to a sex party but have no idea what to expect? Well in Simon's latest book Sex Parties 101 just published he gives you all the answers. Whether you've ever been to a sex party, or hosted a barbecue-cum-orgy in your backyard, this nuts-and-bolts guide to the ins, outs, ups, downs, tops, bottoms, and everything (and everyone) in between is a must-have! Just think--no more boring Saturday nights! Order your copy before the party season starts.
Indeep - Order Here

Kinkorama - Order Here


Simon's latest book of gay stories is In Deep: And Other Stories a new collection of intense erotic gay fiction. It features a gay vampire story to end all gay vampire stories, a raunchy Western tale that would have John Wayne riding a little snug in his saddle, and an in-your-face and up-your-arse retelling of the story of the Garden of Eden (and this time it is all about Adam and Steve). You can order it online from ShopGay.


 
Raunch fans will also enjoy Kinkorama: Dispatches From the Front Lines of Perversion in which he chronicles a first-person exploration of extreme sex from glory holes and three-ways to stronger scenes like S/M play and leather contests. Simon focuses a clear eye on what makes us squirm, sweat, and shiver, revealing a host of sometimes shocking, often hilarious, but always arousing scenarios of all kinds of gay sex. The book is available direct from ShopGay. For an OutUK interview with Simon click here. Simon is the co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power and editor of Hotter Than Hell. You can e-mail him at OutUK.

 

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OutUK features the latest gay news, advice, entertainment and information together with gay guides to cities and holiday destinations around the UK, Europe and the rest of the world. There are hundreds of galleries of photos and videos of the sexiest gay guys plus intimate personal profiles of thousands of gay lads from all around the UK.