This sort of messiness isn't about not straightening up the living room
before your date arrives. It's a matter of full-on funk. Well almost full-on.
for example, involves mucking about in mud. Some men even have staged
Mud, a multi-day extravaganza featuring a brigade of horny, naked males
some very inviting mud pits. "It just feels so great, so animal," says
Mud play isn't, of course, the kind of stuff you can do in a brand new
city-centre apartment. Fortunately, those with a taste for mess can opt for a
gunk. "I always get turned on by men with paint-covered clothes," says
mess fetishist. "I don't know where that comes from - maybe my
childhood - but housepainters make me hard." And out on the Internet, it's possible
find shots of hot guys lying in garbage, or "auto repairmen" whose
bodies are smeared with motor oil.
Many a hot mess scene involves edibles. It's not just a matter of
bit of strawberry jam off a loved one's chest; it's a total-immersion
orgy. There's even a name for this sort of food play: "gunge." One
eroticism, the saying goes, is another man's belly laugh, and seeing
pictures of a bottom getting a pie in the face fits right in. Gunge
get pelted with eggs, covered with oatmeal, chocolate pudding, and
cream, and sometimes Styrofoam peanuts are sprinkled over the whole
as they say in restaurant reviews, a "garnish." In one
kinky variation, gunge bottoms get all dressed up in a suit and tie,
more often there's naked flesh under all that food.
As with other fetish play, messing up a guy can be an end in itself,
often "real sex" will follow. "It's weird but hot," says one gunge top,
screw a butt that's dripping with raw eggs."
If all this sounds a bit infantile...well, you're no doubt right. You
look at it as a case of arrested development, or, less critically, as a
return to a state of innocence where all sorts of sensations can be
There's also, fairly obviously, a link to humiliation play. One gunge
guy says, "I love being humiliated in all sorts of sexy
Sitting there with a hard-on while a topman pours gallons of milk on me
covers my face with lemon meringue, it shows just how low I've sunk."
But why think too hard when you're hard? Gunge can be just plain fun.
There are a couple of nice things about using food for mess play.
or motor oil, food fun can easily be staged at home; lay a few plastic
down and clean up is a breeze. And, unlike many other sex toys, food is
easily available anywhere you go - the industrial-size cans of pudding,
mustard, and baked beans available at cash-and-carrys are perfect for
Though one need not become a full fledged human dessert to have a great
with messiness, there's something about sloppy scenes that calls for
immersion. It's kinky, it's safe, and, whether top, bottom, or switch,
great, sloppy way to let go. Just this once, junior, it's okay to play
Want to throw a sex party but have no idea where to begin? Do you want to go to a
sex party but have no idea what to expect? Well in Simon's latest book
Sex Parties 101 just published
he gives you all the answers. Whether you've ever been to a sex party,
or hosted a barbecue-cum-orgy in your backyard, this nuts-and-bolts guide to the ins, outs,
ups, downs, tops, bottoms, and everything (and everyone) in between is a must-have!
Just think--no more boring
Order your copy before the party season starts.
Simon's latest book of gay stories is
In Deep: And Other Stories a new collection of intense erotic
gay fiction. It features a gay vampire story to end all gay vampire stories, a raunchy Western
tale that would have John Wayne riding a little snug in his saddle, and an in-your-face and
up-your-arse retelling of the story of the Garden of Eden (and this time it is all
about Adam and Steve). You can order it online from
Raunch fans will also enjoy
Kinkorama: Dispatches From the Front Lines of Perversion in which he chronicles a first-person exploration of extreme sex from glory holes
and three-ways to stronger scenes like S/M play and leather contests. Simon focuses a clear eye on what
makes us squirm, sweat, and shiver, revealing a host of sometimes shocking, often hilarious,
but always arousing scenarios of all kinds of gay sex. The book is available direct from
ShopGay. For an OutUK interview with Simon click here.
Simon is the co-editor of
Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power and editor of
Hotter Than Hell. You can e-mail him at OutUK.