SPEAKING OF RUBBINGThe French, as usual, have a word for it: "frottage" - It means "rubbing" and when it comes to sex, it's pretty self-explanatory. Frottage is, in its purest form, full-body face-to-face, crotch-to-crotch contact. | |
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And besides dick-to-dick rubbing
there's also thigh-fucking, where one of the guy's sticks his hard-on between the
other's legs and thrusts away. (A bit of lube will help here, natch.) This kind of sex was also known, in days gone by, as "dry-humping," or as "the Oxford rub," a reference to its assumed popularity in all-male universities, where even the "straight" college boys had their needs. But this sort of thing far predates Brideshead Revisited; many an ancient Greek vase painting shows one Athenian with his cock stuck firmly between another guy's thighs. | 
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Frottage may not be celebrated in videos and porn stories, may not even be talked
about too much, but let's face it, most of us do it. It's a lovely part of making
out, and can be a full-fledged art in itself. There's not even any technique to
learn; just do what feels good, and you've got it.
And not only is frottage hot and easy, suitable for beginners and hardened sluts alike, it's also pretty damn safe, assuming that precum or cum doesn't make contact with the other guy's butthole or urethra. (It's a bad idea to use another guy's jizz as your jacking-off lube, though.) Body-to-body contact need not be limited to the good ol' Oxford rub; exploring all of a guy's flesh, from head to toe, can be a real treat. There's the familiar "How about a backrub?" come-on, which has gotten many a semi-reluctant partner to put out. Massage, whether leisurely and sensual, or penetrating and intense, can be intensely sexy. The preliminary stroking of the neck and shoulders, moving on down the back, further down toward the butt, the kneading of the buttocks, reaching down between the legs...oh, it's yummy. And--assuming you're not going to be moving on to the sort of sex where condoms are a necessity--there are delightful oils and lotions that can be used, from scented commercial products to gently warmed olive oil. (A housekeeping tip, though--use a bedsheet you don't mind getting stained.) Though we often think of "sex" as dicks-butts-and-mouths stuff, the entire body, properly stimulated, can be an erogenous zone. Guys into ass will probably enjoy jerking themselves off against buttcheeks or, rubbered-up and lubed, can get off rubbing hard-on against buttcrack without ever entering the inner sanctum. Some foot fetishists love to screw a guy's soles, or stick their dicks between a pair of nice size 10s. Chest, armpit, belly, they're all delicious. Stroke it, knead it, rub up against it...remember, sex is supposed to feel good. "I just love kissing somebody while we rub our bodies together," says one guy who's otherwise kinky as hell. "It can be sexy, intimate, and, if you'll excuse my using the word, romantic." And that goes for old marrieds as well as couples who have just met. We can be so damn goal-oriented, eager to get where we're going. But each man's body, each guy's reactions, is unique. Slow down, enjoy the scenery, take a side trip or two, and you'll find some rewarding spots, whether for a quick stop-over or for an extended visit. As the French say, "Ooh la la!"
Simon SheppardNow here's your chance to meet the man behind this column. OutUK has an interview with Simon Sheppard or you can take a look at some of his books that are currently available:
Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called Hotter Than Hell. In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines. | |
