SPEAKING OF SCORING ONLINEThe Internet has changed our sex lives. The modem is turning out to be the sex toy of the new millennium. Log on and find a sex partner while the Lean Cuisine is getting nuked. Fabulous! | |
| But there are pitfalls. If it seems too easy to make a date, he probably won't show. Guys with "slave" in their screen name usually aren't. Subtract at least an inch from whatever he says. Fortunately, there are also ways to better the odds of getting what you want - which may be love but is more probably dick. It's better to be clear than coy. |
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Nobody who says he's "into everything" is actually into everything.
If a guy's into feet, or being spat on, or he wants to tie three bottomboys together,
he should say so; it increases his odds of hitting the jackpot. Same goes for those
into plain old vanilla.
And not everybody wants instant gratification, at least not always. It's frustrating to flirt ferociously for an hour, only to find out that Mr. Sex Object's still at work, leaving for Birmingham after dinner, and anyway he and his boyfriend are monogamous. Being clear about whether you're actually looking to play, and when, is only right. The personal profile is a great tool, and like all great tools, should be handled correctly. Accuracy counts; the wannabe who advertises himself as an experienced slave might have trouble explaining to some online Master why he doesn't know what CBT stands for (that's cock-and-ball torture, by the way). And where the profile asks for "birthday," stupid-cute lines like "yes, every year" just don't cut it. Furnishing your age, flat out, ensures that guys into 20-year-olds, 40-year-olds, or 60-year-olds, will be able to find a suitable fuck. Same with physical descriptions. If a guy just wants to cyber (for the uninitiated, that means typing dirty things back and forth online), then he can claim a huge piece of meat and watch the size queens flock to his door. But if he's actually trying to hook up, someone's eventually bound to discover that his massive 9-incher is really an average 5-ish. Ethical cruisers measure from their pubic bones, not their assholes, and tell the truth. There's enough cynicism in this world already. Exchanging pictures, as fallible and misleading as they can be, is still very, very useful. Sad but true, it's not just what's inside that's important. No matter how great a man may sound, there may be no physical chemistry there. A guy should have a couple of e-mailable pics, at least one of which shows his face. And the one who suggests a picture swap should send first, or at least simultaneously. Pic-swapping games are frustrating and tacky. Hate to say it, but horny homos have been known to lie. Before making a definite date, a phone call will go a long to determine sincerity (and also ensure that Tommy Trick doesn't sound like Donald Duck) and if there's no-one else around meet first at the pub down the road. There's still a chance Dream Boy will be a no-show, but also a chance he'll appear at your door - or you at his - erect, as advertised, and ready to go. And that, after all, despite the games and software glitches, is the promise of online cruising. Ah, this Modern Age...
Simon SheppardNow here's your chance to meet the man behind this column. OutUK has an interview with Simon Sheppard or you can take a look at some of his books that are currently available:
Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called Hotter Than Hell. In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines. | |
