Then there are truly unpleasant shocks, such as the realisation that an encounter
has left you with an STD or a case of crabs. But many - maybe most - surprises are
pleasant ones: the size queen whose conquest is huge where it counts, or the fellow
who seems like an uptight prude till a dick in his ass turns him into a libidinal lion.
Some of the best surprises can be preplanned. One considerate lover recalls, "My boyfriend
had been asking me to fuck him with a dildo, something I wasn't all that into. But for his
birthday I bought a really nice one and wrapped it up in ribbons. Needless to say,
the post-cake celebration was a whole lot of fun, for me as well as for him."
Certainly, sexual surprises can keep long-term relationships from going stale.
"Surprise, honey! I'm versatile after all!" can be a delightful detour from well-rutted
rutting routes. But even the best-intentioned bolt from the blue might be unwelcome:
Before your boyfriend awakes to find your lips on his dick, make sure he's not the
sort who gets unpleasantly grumpy when disturbed mid-dream.
If you're the one doing the surprising, consideration and a good gauging of the
other guy are important. Don't veer off onto the bypaths of booty unless there's
at least a good chance that your partner will enjoy the new direction.
And if you're the one taken by surprise? Well, going with the flow is often a great
idea. Some men are so set in their ways - and so particular about their desires - that
any deviation from what they thought would happen is cause for carnal disappointment.
Their loss. But don't be so desperate for dick that you let yourself in for a rotten time.
Be flexible but smart. If the mild-seeming man you brought home from the bar turns out to
be into heavy-duty spanking and you'd rather not be whacked, let him know in no uncertain terms.
With any luck, the twists and turns of life will lead to delightful discoveries below
the belt. You may discover that you're a lot kinkier than you'd thought - or not as
twisted as you'd hoped. And you may find love and fulfillment in the most unlikely places.
Surprise! May the unexpected keep you fresh, hard, and horny.

Simon Sheppard
San Francisco artist and activist Simon Sheppard is best known for his contributions to the erotic literary scene. He wrote hundreds of stories that appeared in S/M magazines; erotic anthologies; and over twenty editions of Best Gay Erotica and Best American Erotica. His Sextalk column has appeared on OutUK for more than 20 years. You can find out more about Simon Sheppard in this OutUK feature and tribute, or take a look at some of his many books that are still available:
Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also
co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and
Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called
Hotter Than Hell.
In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There
are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines.
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