Ahoy me boys! OutUK's manly mariner Adrian Gillan drifts into port for a two-day
naval binge along the coast of the Solent in Portsmouth and Southampton.
It gave Nelson his Victory and has given sailors a warm heartfelt passage ever since.
We're talking about Portsmouth or Pompey to the locals. No holds
barred, or all at sea?
Romantic Hayling Island just east of the city.
If you're warming up for your big club night out, totter along to the
trendy Hampshire Boulevard where all the bright young things hang out ship-shape
along it's lengthy bar or in the spacious summer decks outside to the aft.
And if the old horn pipe's still strangely aloft, there's a range of options for
the old shivered timbers. For a hot steamy time try Tropics Sauna, though
its steamy cabins are perversely only open afternoons and evenings, not nights or
Sundays - Monday afternoon is reportedly busiest for old sea hands. If it's late
night fayre you're after, outdoor cruising's rife back down at South Parade around
Henry VIII's little old castle by the sea, though beware - a giant straight club
backs onto the area and groups of drunken het hunks have been known to cause trouble.
Far safer is the gay nudist beach by day, right beneath the MoD's rotating radar,
a half hour ramble along the coast - follow the coastal road eastward ho until it
bends left, then take the single track on the first right, following it between the
caravan site and the MoD HQ. You'll soon reach a beach with a sign plainly foretelling
of nudity. Waft yet further east along the beach and cast your towel - the MoD radar
won't be the only thing picking up naked men!
Just a half hour's journey west along the coast from Portsmouth, two ships once set
sail from the fair city of Southampton. One was The Mayflower which helped colonise
America with Puritanical whites; and the other, a few hundred years later,
was the Titanic which sank en route to the same place, so giving us
the world's largest metaphor and 3 hours of Di Caprio eyeing up Winslett.
Eastern Docks in Southampton.
If you drift down Bernard Street, along the curve
that is Oxford Street, passing The Grapes pub where many of the crew of the Titanic
downed their last pints, you'll find the London Hotel pub (not a hotel) on the corner. It's
billed as "Southampton's friendliest gay venue" and we'd certainly vouch for that - the
staff bend over backwards to welcome all wayfarers and lost souls, to set you on your
way with a smile - nightly evening cabaret and karaoke.
Yet further north, there's the purple-coated
gay multiplex that is The Edge, Loft & Box. The Edge is a large bar-cum-club with
polls to dance around - all you'd expect plus more. The Loft upstairs offers a
range of snacks and light pub grub. The Box next door is open at weekends, pumping
out hard dance music.
The Pink Broadway sauna near Debenhams can work off any excess steam remaining. Or
there's plenty of outdoor cruising action on Southampton Common - especially in the
woods near the County Cricket Ground on the south side, with easy parking and even
easier lads who seemingly get younger as the night goes on. Complaints from the
public over careless disposal of condoms have reputedly prompted limited police
action, so the north side of the common may be more expedient - up at the top of
Hill Lane where the toilet is now boarded up but there is a huge amount of activity
in the woods over quite a large area.
THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK
London Hotel (2 Terminus Terrace, Southampton; T: 023 8071 0652)
Pink Broadway (79-80 East Street, Southampton; T: 023 8023 8804)
The Edge, Loft & Box (Compton Walk, Southampton; T: 023 8036 6163) Website
The Hampshire Boulevard (1 Hampshire Terrace, Portsmouth; T: 023 9229 7509)
Tropics Sauna (2 Market Way, Portsmouth; T: 023 9229 6100)
Portsmouth and Southampton are approximately 1½ hours away from London Waterloo
by South West Trains. For information and booking www.southwesternrailway.com.
Revised October 2017.