This Week - Swallowing cum, Power Bottom and Am I?

Robinhoodless asks this: I feel very embarrassed to ask this because all the questions seem so real and experienced. What I'd like to know is whether you can catch HIV from swallowing a man's cum. The reason I ask is because I've never properly been with a man but I have a massive fantasy about giving a blow job to a man and feeling his cum all over me. I want to do it so badly but am paranoid about HIV. Does swallowing cause a risk?

James says: Hey you can never know enough about sex and there are loads of people who need to learn a lot more too so it is always best to ask and find out. You should never be embarrassed to talk about sex or to ask for information so it is great that you have asked this question!

There is some confusion over the issue of cum in the mouth however in the medical community there is a consensus of opinion in the fact that the risks of catching HIV from having someone cum in your mouth are really very low. It is also accepted that if you have oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, or other STD's then there are higher chances that you could catch HIV.

For some statistics we can look at the 4th International Oral AIDS Conference held in South Africa where they stated that the risk of transmission through oral sex was estimated to be approximately 0.04 per cent per contact. This figure is lower than other estimates but is per contact so obviously the more times someone cums in your mouth then the higher the risks!

At the end of the day the risks of catching HIV from having cum in your mouth are much smaller than those for unprotected anal sex however there is a small risk that you should be aware of.

People have also been advised that if they do have someone cum in their mouth to either spit it out immediately or swallow it. The acids in the stomach are very strong and will kill anything in the cum but the most important thing is to get it out of your mouth as quick as possible. It's also important not to brush your teeth or use a mouthwash before sucking cock, as brushing can cause little cuts in the gums and mouthwash destroys bacteria which can kill any nasty germs.

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Jon needs more info: James, last week you talked about being a 'power bottom', and I'd really like to learn to do it too. A guy I once fucked obviously knew all about it, it felt like he was literally sucking the cum out of me - it was sensational. Nobody I have slept with since has done that. What do you have to do, and how do you learn?

James replies: Well a 'power bottom' is someone who is passive and who actively responds to being fucked as opposed to just lying there. This is often much more enjoyable for the top and can also be much more fun for the bottom as well. A 'power bottom' will move his body more, often lifting his ass up in the air just like in all those porn movies! The best position for this is with the bottom lying face down on the bed and then lifting his ass high in the air with his head down on the bed.

A Power Bottom can also change position to being on top and riding up and down on his partner's dick taking total control as the bottom and being much more responsive.

There is also something else that a 'power bottom' will do as well and that comes from inside. The muscles inside the anus can be used to great effect during sex but they need to be exercised and you need to know how to use them. For this you need to do your Kegel excercises (which we have mentioned here quite a few times before). To locate the muscle go for a pee and stop the flow using the muscle. These are the muscles you have to focus on strengthening so once you know where they are you can contract and relax them when not going for a pee and then try using them during sex. You can tighten and relax then during sex and this makes the sensation stronger for both the top and the bottom. By using a combination of more interaction physically and internally you can become a 'power bottom' and enjoy sex much more!

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Bart doesn't know: I'm not sure if I am gay. I really like the look of penises and the thought of anal sex drives me wild, only I do not find men attractive. I do however find girls attractive, but the thought of gay sex excites me more than anal sex. I also like dressing up in women's clothes, this also turns me on. Am I gay?

James answers: Maybe you don't find men attractive because it is something that you don't find acceptable at the moment? If you like the look of penises and the idea of anal sex then it would at least indicate that you are bisexual but maybe by saying to yourself that men are not attractive is a way of showing that you haven't fully come to terms with your sexuality yet.

I am not quite sure what you mean by saying that the thought of gay sex excites you more than anal sex as a lot of sex that happens between gay men does involve anal sex! Dressing up in women's clothes is a fetish that some people do enjoy however just because you would enjoy this would not mean you are gay. In fact it's far more common for straight guys to dress as a woman than it is for gay men. You need to experiment a bit and see what you like and what you don't and then come to your own conclusions about what you like and what you prefer.

If after having had sex with a man you realise that you like this the most then maybe you will realise that you are gay. If you don't enjoy it and decide you prefer women then this could mean that you aren't gay or that you aren't ready to accept the fact that you might be gay. It is not an easy question and there is no right answer but it is something that you need to work out for yourself about what you want and what feels right for you!

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