James Connor can answer all your questions on gay relationships, sex, health and love. James founded his own highly successful gay website and film label called FreshSX. The opinions he gives in Ask James are based on his experiences as a gay man who enjoys all aspects of love and sex. He's not a qualified doctor, trained counsellor or therapist but his advice is like that of a close friend.

The Ask James Archive has loads of questions and answers featured in previous editions of the column.

Ask James

This Week - Prince Alberts, Fast romances and Learning not to gag

Scotbear safely inserts this: I've met a hunk of a guy; he is a big bloke, hairy and rugged. A real tough player. On the second time we were out I couldn't keep my hands off him and the growing bulge in his jeans. I slipped the zip down and found he had a Prince Albert ring. I've never been with a guy like this before. I was a bit taken aback, but found it a real turn on. I know the next time we go out he (and me) will want to take the next step. But how do I handle the ring. Sucking and fucking. We both play safe, it is a fairly thick ring with a sort of horseshoe shape and a ball at each end. Any advice??

James says: It is not uncommon for gay guys to get a Prince Albert as it really heightens sensation for both the guy with the piercing and for his partner. It often makes orgasm more sensual and stronger by up to 3 or 4 times.

When you do end up going to bed with him don't worry about the Prince Albert and just continue as normal. It is nice feeling the ring in your mouth when sucking and as you are fucking it will stimulate you more than normal so you should really enjoy it. And as for using condoms there is no difference so slip a condom on and have great sex. And who knows, in a few weeks maybe you will have one too!

Angel asks: I dated someone once from the internet, few months ago. I like him very much, but it was a bit difficult because I have a bf. I always wanted to see him again, so we planned to get together, and we went to another city for 2 days and had a great time ... After coming back to my hometown I think a lot about him, and I think I am in love with him. Do you think that I fell in love in 2 days???? Is that possible?? Pls advise me.

James replies: When you meet someone off the internet you never really know what will happen. It is different from meeting someone in a bar or club as there is none of the feelings of sexual chemistry that you have when you meet someone face to face. You may like their pictures but who is to say that they actually look like that!

Also, if you meet someone and you already have a boyfriend then what are you expecting? You could have had sex with him and left it at that, or as in your case you had stronger feelings that have lead you to going away with him.

Of course you can fall in love with someone after 2 days. Haven't you heard of love at first sight? But what you do when you fall in love with someone, when you already have a boyfriend, is a different question.

You need to consider whether or not you are happy with your current boyfriend. Maybe you find it easier to stay with him for financial or other reasons, but consider whether that is a strong enough reason to stay with him. At the end of the day it is important to be happy with your own life and if this means that you are staying with your current boyfriend for the wrong reasons then you should consider whether you should pursue a relationship with your new found love, if this is what will make you feel happy and fulfilled.

Swallow this from Terriliny: I've sucked cock before which I like, but never one bigger then 5 inches. My new friend has an 8 inch cock and likes oral, but every time he wants to push it down my throat I gag. How can I get over this and please him?

James answers: Well gagging on dick is not uncommon. It depends on various factors and has a lot to do with practise and training. And yeah some guys do gag more easily than others, and some guys do have smaller mouths than others too which doesn't help!

You are right that it is easier to take a small dick in your mouth than a larger one, but with practise you will be able to take anything they can throw at you!

The most important thing really is position. You want his dick to slide down your throat and not smash into your tonsils so try having him lie on his back and you lean over him facing his feet and suck him from there. Or you can also try the 69 position which is fairly similar.
One golden rule you should have is that when you deep throat your partner he should not move until you are comfortable with it. This will reduce the risk of gagging. Tell him not to shove it down your throat, and to lay there and enjoy it!

It's no wonder you gag if all he wants to do is push it down your throat. Even the most experienced deep throaters gag, so give yourselves a chance! And don't forget to breathe deeply through your nose, and if you feel like you are going to gag then come up for air, relax a bit and start again.

Over time you will learn to relax your throat muscles and be able to take bigger and bigger cocks deeper and deeper but it all takes time and deep breaths!


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