This Week - Pumping Up, Married with urges and One sided sex

Alan's pumped with for this: James, I have always wanted a big dick hanging between my legs. I recently bought a pump which I have been using for about three months now, but have not noticed any results from it. Do these pump work, or did I just waste my money? How else can I get a bigger dick?

James says: Hi Alan, penis pumps are designed to stimulate blood flow and help produce an erection although they can also help with making your dick seem larger, simply because that will happen with increased blood flow to your dick anyway. If you are using your pump purely to try and get a bigger dick then I think you are going to be pretty dissapointed with the results. You should also seriously consider the fact that it could be doing you damage as well.

Penis pumps can be effective for men who can't get an erection. The pump is designed to draw blood into the penis thus helping to get an erection. To maintain the erection after taking the pump off an elastic band or cock ring is required at the base of your dick. With more blood forced into your dick then it will temporarily appear larger but when removed your dick will go back to it's normal size.

What you should consider is that using a pump too much or by using it incorrectly can lead to a loss of sensation, loss of penile skin, bruising, broken blood vessels or even gangrene, so do use it carefully. As with anything if you experience any pain or discomfort stop using it and if you are in any doubt ask your doctor.

Unfortunately even though there are thousands and thousands of ads telling us about ways to get a bigger dick the truth is that most of them will do very little if anything at all to give you a bigger dick!

The enlargement creams and penis pumps merely increase blood flow to your dick which will make it easier to get an erection and can make it seem bigger temporarily much in the same way as taking viagra. Other guys use weights placed on the end of their dick but this will only make it longer and will end up making it thinner due to the stretched tissue and can also make it harder to get an erection.

Some guys have tried the more drastic step of enlargement surgery but this is expensive, can lead to complications and can also lead to you ending up with a misshapen dick due to scar tissue formation. One technique which implants your own body fat into your dick can make it thicker but won't make it longer.

At the end of the day you should realise that there is not actually much you can do to get a bigger dick and that by being happy with what you already have would be a much easier solution! Also consider that the average dick is between 5.5 and 6.0" when erect and studies have shown that most men are unhappy with the size of their dick, no matter how big they are.

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Jon wants advice: Hi James. I am a young married man who wants to stop feeling the way I do about men. I want to be committed to my wife, but all I think about is having sex with guys. Is this something that is going to be with me until I die? Or can I change the way I feel about men? Can you help?

James replies: Hi Jon, well to be honest if you have these thoughts then it is something that is in you and something that you need to sort out. You need to try and work out why you have these thoughts and what they mean. You also need to think about why you got married to your wife in the first place and what that marriage means to you and to her as well.

Have you ever had sex with men or is it just a thought? How do you feel about your wife and how is your sex life with her? If you are thinking about men a lot but at the same time you lead a fulfilling sex life with your wife then that would indicate that you may be bisexual which a lot of people are. Some couples find that this is not so difficult to handle however for others it can create serious problems.

It is difficult to change your thoughts and opinions especially if they are hidden thoughts that keep appearing. If you were to put these thoughts to the back of your mind would they go away? If not then you need to confront this. If you haven't had sex with a man maybe this is somethiing you need to do. If you don't like it then that may help in getting rid of these thoughts. If you do like it then you need to decide what it means to you. Are you bisexual or gay? Can you stay with your wife and occasionally have sex with men or could you actually tell your wife and she would understand and work through this with you?

There is a lot of thinking to be done but remember there are also people who are there to help if you need it. If you need to talk to someone about this then you can try the various helpines such as the London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard whose number is 020 7837 7324. Most of all you need to be honest with yourself and with your wife. You both deserve that.

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Cam wants to change his man: Last month I met a gorgeous guy with a terrific body. His dick is really hung too. However all we do is me sucking him and he fucking me. He does not like to kiss, suck or get fucked. Even when it comes to touching and caressing each other, I am left begging for more. I am finding it a bit of a one-way street and he just WON'T talk about it, even though I've tried. Where should I go from here.

James answers: This is not an easy one as when there is not the right chemistry there at the start it can be hard to find. It is going to be especailly difficult if he won't even talk about it as then there is very little chance of overcoming these issues.

At the end of the day in a relationship the only way of overcoming problems is by talking them through openly and honestly and this is the best way of building a longstanding relationship with someone. The more you talk and solve problems then the stronger a relationship becomes as you are both able to prove to each other that you really want to make it work.

Sex is an important part of a relationship but there are also other elements as well as your partner should also be your best friend and be able to offer support as well. Have a think about what you have together and what you want from a relationship. If sex is the most important thing to you and you don't feel that you are going to be able to talk about this or find a solution then maybe you should consider if this is the right guy for you.

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