This Week - Toys for boys, Rings for partners and Being jealous

Wheels turns in this: Before I decide to take in the real thing (cock), I want to try something else like a tool or toy to see if I like it. Can you tell what I should use ... is something around the house a good idea?

James says: Well the main thing to remember is that although they say 'bigger is better', the first time you try anything like this you should definitely start small, as it is much easier. When you have got used to something small, you can start moving on to bigger and better things.

The safest thing to do is to buy a small dildo and start practising with that. Make sure that you use lots and lots of lube and try and relax. If it hurts then stop and relax for a bit and then try again. You need to be careful about letting others use your dildos as this can be a way of getting sexually transmitted diseases - if you do share then put a condom on it before, and make sure it's throughly washed with hot water. Better to keep to your own.

The anus is quite a delicate area and it is easy to cause small tears inside if you are not careful. For this reason you should make sure that you take things slowly when playing with dildos - if you feel any discomfort then stop.

As for using other objects around the house this is really not a good idea. Not only would you have to look out for sharp corners, but also make sure you're not going to lose it inside of you. If you use something like a banana or cucumber then it may fall apart. The last thing you want is to end up in hospital with some nurse removing an object from your bum! Stick to a proper dildo it's a good investment long term and much more likely to give you the results you are looking for.

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George's Husband rings in with this: James, Can you give me some insight into the significance of what finger men choose to use when they are in a committed arrangement. I've seen men wearing rings on the traditional left wedding finger, and on the same finger on the right hand. No doubt some men don't wear their ring on their left "wedding ring" finger because they haven't come out, and don't want to be put in an uncomfortable situation. But what's best and are there any conventions...

James replies: George to be honest at the end of the day it is up to you! Traditionally couples wear a wedding ring on the fourth finger on the left hand. If you were to have a wedding ceremony in most countries where gay marriage is legal they would most likely suggest that you place the ring here.

Many gay couples have chosen to have the ring placed on the right hand as they want to show individuality. The most important thing for a lot of people is that the two of you have matching rings on the same finger - but not every couple do even this.

I guess if you don't want people to ask you about your partner then you wouldn't wear it on the left hand as this may create unwanted attention. If you are happy being married to a gay man and don't mind people asking you about your partner then wear it on the left, and be proud and happy!

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Dave is worried: My boyfriend has a muscular defined body with washboard sixpack abs. We have both been going to the beach quite often this summer. The problem is that he tends to strip his top off at the beach, in the centre of town or in the park when it is hot. He gets noticed by loads of people and although he does not intend to seek attention he enjoys it. He also wears sports wear like tight athletic tops, some of which are see through as well as wearing his boxers so that the top part can be seen above his joggers or shorts. I am worried and getting jealous at the looks he's getting. A few people have even stroked his abs and he just finds it funny. He only has eyes for me and he never looks elsewhere for sex or a relationship. If I tell him not to take his top off he may think I am paranoid. What can I do?

James answers: Dave, if you know that your boyfriend only has eyes for you and would never go with other guys then what are you worried about? You should be happy to have such a beautiful boy to go around with and at the end of the day you should be proud that other guys look at him, and he belongs to you.

Try and be more secure with your relationship, have trust and confidence in your partner, and be happy that he is so good-looking! If he wasn't so attractive and no one looked at him then you would probably have other problems!

At the end of the day he has chosen to be with you, and you've said you don't think he would stray. In order for your relationship to work you need to trust him. Don't get jealous or try and tell him not to take his top off - otherwise you will really start to create problems in your relationship that at the moment aren't there!

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