|
James Connor answers loads of questions on gay relationships, sex, health and love. James founded his own
highly successful gay website and film label called FreshSX. The opinions he gives in Ask James are based on his
experiences as a gay man who enjoys all aspects of love and sex. He's not a qualified doctor, trained counsellor
or therapist but his advice is like that of a close friend.
The Ask James Archive has more questions and answers
that were featured in previous editions of the column.
|
|
This Week - Shaving, Escort etiquette and STD checkups 
| ShyRy is so smooth: James, I am looking into shaving my body hair (armpits, chest, and lower abdomen) because my partner has expressed a strong sexual desire for this. I have never shaved my body hair before. Do you have any advice on what works best? Blades, wax, creams or what?
| James says: Well some areas of the body are more sensitive than others. The area around the balls and dick are particularly sensitive although it's also true that any area that hasn't been shaved before can be sensitive at first.
Be aware that you may get a rash from shaving and that it can take some days to go away and doesn't always look very nice either. Shaving can also cause spots to form in some people as well. Don't shave for the first time immediately before you are going to be on show somewhere, you might find you do get some physical reaction to the shaving.
In very sensitive areas it might be better to use an electric shaver as this will be less harsh on the skin. If you do use blades then make sure you use lots of shaving cream and that the skin is held tight. Also do ensure you shave in the direction to which the hair is growing. There is now a special shaving cream available for men to use when shaving body hair, and you can buy this online from stores such as ShopGay run by OutUK.
The most important thing is to use a non-perfumed cream after shaving so that you allow the skin to recover. There are some really good sensitive face creams which don't contain perfume which you can use. Don't use ordinary after shave! Oouch!
| Mark needs some advice: Hi James, I want to hire an escort for a overnight outcall but I have never done this before. How do you pay? Do you pay him half before and half in the morning? How do you book in? Should you tell the hotel you are a couple or should the escort arrive later and go straight to your room? How do I know which hotels would be OK with this?
| James replies: Hi Mark, well all escorts work in different ways so the best way is to ask the escort before you meet what it is you should do.
Normally you would pay the escort in advance but ask him how he works. Also normally you would check into your room and then meet the escort after. He could either come straight up to your room, or you could arrange to meet in the bar.
You wouldn't really need to tell the hotel as he is only there as a guest and to be honest most hotels would be OK with this, especially the larger ones, as it is not going to be the first time that this has happened in their hotel!
| Jamal says: Hi James, I want to book an appointment, with my boyfriend, to attend an STD clinic. I'm worried that the tests involved maybe painful and will involve us taking clothes off? Which tests can be done in isolation, and would HIV only be tested for if specifically asked. Basically, I'm confused. We just want to have a check-up but don't want an ordeal of painful tubes and annoying gay male nurses!
| James answers: Hi Jamal, well yes, it is very important to go for an STD check, in fact all gay men who are sexually active should go for regular check ups. There are a lot of STD's that you can catch and it is much better to discover them early, should you have one, as they can normally be cured fairly easily but can cause serious health problems if left untreated.
They will need to take some blood from your arm and they will also need you to pee into a tube as well, which you will normally do in the toilet. They may also need to take some swabs from your ass and for this you would need to lay down and pull your pants down. They might also take a sample from your dick as well. Don't worry about this, as they have people of all types going for tests and they really aren't bothered what you look like and just want to do their job.
They should always ask if you want an HIV test and they can't force you to have one if you don't want to. You will always have the choice of having an HIV test but remember that it is much better to know you have any STD including HIV as the earlier you start any treatment the better, and some of the drugs can prevent long term serious health problems.
There are no painful tubes involved so you can get that idea out of your head! The most uncomfortable thing is having your blood taken and the anal tube for a sample. Some people find the taking of the sample from your dick a little uncomfortable but it is all very fast and there's not much to it really at all!
As for annoying gay male nurses you should remember that the nurses are there to do a job and just because they are gay and male doesn't mean that they are likely to be annoying. In fact, I would have to say that if you do get a gay male nurse it makes it much easier to talk to them and ask for their advice.
Maybe you make these comments as you are scared to go but please do. Don't be scared to check yourselves out regularly as it is a really important to thing to do for both of you!
|
|
